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THE BABY TRAIN by Bryanna Licciardi • Cleaver Magazine
THE BABY TRAIN by Bryanna Licciardi The question is anything but casual. In this society, it more or less translates to I’m judging you! It’s always asked shouldering the answer, because everyone wants children, even if only “someday.” As a woman who has never enjoyed the company of children—who in fact has been known to hide when she hears one coming—I’ve found it easier to just evade questions like this with humor. Because the question is anything but casual. In this society, it more or less translates to “I’m judging you!” And it’s always asked shouldering the answer, because everyone wants children, right? Even if only “someday.” However, this was a serious decision I was about to make, so I answered truthfully. “I’m not much of a kid person.” “Do you mean infants? Toddlers? Young children?” the therapist asked. “All of the above?” “I see,” she said, writing something down in her yellow notepad. “And I’m assuming you’re not married?” Assuming? “Yes, I’m single.” “Why do you think you’re single?” What kind of question was that? Because men suck at dating me? Because I suck at dating them? Because I’ve become an expert at not dating? Instead, I said, “I’m a virgin. And guys tend not to know what to do with that.” Her face was priceless—mouth open, eyes crooked and bugging. She looked stunned, like she’d just discovered the missing link. “Virgin…” she mumbled. “And you’re 24?” I nodded. She leaned forward, pen pressed hard onto her notepad, and spewed out textbook clichés trying to unlock the secret: was there a history of trauma; was I controlled by the church; had I any daddy issues? But alas, as hard as it was to believe, I was a virgin simply because I’d never had sex.