Top 15 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has a whopping 157 songs in its catalogue, spread over four seasons. 157! That is actually insane. From songs about finding bathrooms to accepting that medication that isn’t such a big deal, there’s something for every music fan hidden in the depths of the show. Rachel Bloom AKA Rebecca Bunch AKA the coolest girl in the world (and her creative team) do an incredible job of creating tongue-in-cheek and serious songs that cover a wide range of genres. Honestly, I don’t know how they did it, and hats off to them. I’m forever listening to the ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ soundtrack over and over now that the show is over (tell me I’m okay Patrick!). Now that I’ve had some time to bathe in each song’s weird and wonderful glory, I thought I’d make a list of my top 15 songs in ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’. This was super hard – they’re all so amazing in their own way. With that said, let’s get started… 15. Math of Love Triangles This Marilyn Monroe parody is so wonderfully surreal that it simply had to make my list of best Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs. I mean, how could you not love it? This is the height of Rebecca’s love-infused obsession, never taking the guy’s considerations into the narrative of it all. And this song sums it all up perfectly. How Rachel and her team came up with this amazing idea is beyond me, but I’m so happy that they did. Favourite lyric: “Is this a triangle? No, that’s a shoe. Is this a triangle? No, that’s you. So I’m a triangle? What? No. One, two, three, six, eight, three, go!” 14. I Give Good Parent Yes Mumma Chan! She went off. From that sick mouth grill to Rebecca gyrating on all of the guests, this song is the absolute bomb. The Nicki Minaj vibes carry it through to its sick conclusion of: “Yep, your folks pretty much wanna fuck me.” Amazing. Favourite lyric: “Your home’s such a beautiful, comfortable space / Like my pussy, you two have wonderful taste.” 13. Oh My God I Think I Like You Oh, this song is actually kinda cute. And look! It’s OG Greg. I miss him. But I digress… We’ve all been there. That sudden, sickening realisation that you actually like someone. Somehow, Rachel Bloom managed to capture that feeling and wrap it up into an adorable yet funny 2:32 second song. Seriously, how does she do it? Favourite lyric: “Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings? Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill / The fluttering in my heart?” 12. Good At Yoga Otherwise known as ‘Valencia rips into Rebecca for two minutes and eleven seconds”. Seriously, burn. This song is so, so, so funny. The first time I watched it I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I had to rewatch it was like 2am. That was a fun day. There’s so many witty zingers in this track it’s unreal. “Exhale on the other side… Rebecca sucks” will forever be iconic. Valencia’s vocal infliction on the ‘yooOoOOga’ is legit the catchiest thing I’ve ever heard, too. Favourite lyric: “I’m not afraid of clowns and trains / Look at her, look at her / My father didn’t leave me.” 11. What’s Your Story? Yeah, so I literally have this song stuck in my head like every single day of the week and it’s super annoying. But still, I love it. I’m a sucker for Chicago, I can’t help it! Rebecca in full-on insane mode makes for some great musical numbers, and this is one of them. It also casually tackles racism, which is an added bonus! Favourite lyric: “I was a no-good, manipulative love addict with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder.” 10. The Sexy Getting Ready Song Ah, arguably the most iconic song in the entirety of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This was the song that, after West Covina, made you realise that the show was going to be jumping around in genre and tone. They really get that sexy/pop/rnb vibe down, all while singing about a topic we can all relate to. I mean, what other TV show is going to show you someone singing about ass blood? No show has the balls to, other than Crazy Ex. It’s weirdly the perfect song to stick on in the background while you’re getting ready to go out and hit the town. Who knew? Favourite lyric: “Cause I want my body / To be so soft for you (Bye-bye, skin)” 9. Where’s the Bathroom? I’m not gonna lie, the first time I heard this song, I cackled like an absolutely madman. Seriously, I was in hysterics. The chaotic energy, the gradual build-up, the hilarious lyrics, the expressions on Rebecca’s face… I’m gonna go out on a whim here and say this is the funniest scene in the entire show. It’s also so quotable. I’m forever belting this out when I go to my friend’s house and need to pee. Sorry not sorry. Favourite lyric: “Since when do you have a vendetta against vases? When did you stop wearing makeup? Are you sure that you’re not gay? I’d still love you if you were gay / It would explain this vase vendetta.” (Honesty, I could’ve put the entire track here, but I had to pick). 8. Let’s Generalise About Men First of all: Look. At. Those. Outfits. The fierce gang of gal pals look absolutely fly, and I am here for it. Pouring wine and bitching about their man troubles? I’m pretty sure we can all relate to that on some level. It’s the type of song that #NotAllMen and #Meninists hear in their nightmares, and I hope that they hear it loud. The irony of the track doesn’t go missed, either. From stating they’re only generalizing all 3.6 billion straight men to then saying that “all gay men are really great, every single one” is lyrical genius. This is the perfect song to stick on loudly after drinking a bottle and a half of wine if you’re going through some relationship issues, trust me. Favourite lyric: “Wait, I have sons / Your sons are gonna be rapists!” 7. Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal Dr. Akopian knows what’s up! On meds? Dude, it’s really not a big deal, as Akopian and her team of prescription taking singers will tell you. Again, while this song is sung through a veil of humour, it actually tackles some pretty serious messages that have helped people out there in the real world. Opening up the platform for discussing mental health and medication through the means of a sick and hilarious song is something only Crazy Ex-Girlfriend could do, and that’s why I adore this unusual TV show. I’m also a sucker for a sick choreographed dance number, so there’s that. Favourite lyric: “Some cry that in the past, we didn’t medicate everyone / Cool, witch trials and the Crusades sound like so much fun.” 6. Where’s Rebecca Bunch? Now, I know this must seem as though I’ve rated this quite highly. And I have. That’s because I love it. The fairytale/Les Mis-esque vibe is gives off is just so unique, and it’s something the show hadn’t ever done before. I love seeing our gang sing the tune about the mysterious vanishing of Miss Bunch, before showing her being isolated in a lonely tower after being rejected by Josh. It was such a stellar way to introduce us to season 3, and I remember being astounded the first time I watched it. Showing Rebecca going from a woman scorned to a woman fighting back (through the means of poo-cupcakes, how novel), is one of my favourite storylines in the whole show. The fact that it’s an ensemble number featuring all of the key cast is also super. Also, fun fact! The opening notes are the same from ‘West Covina’, but played in minor. It’s remarkable musical storytelling, going from the light, upbeat ‘West Covina’ to the darker tones Rebecca’s story has taken us. Amazing. Favourite lyric: “There’s gossip going on from Riverside to Encino / Of the Jewish chick who got dumped by the ripped Filipino.” 5. Strip Away My Conscience Remember that time Rebecca turned up at Nathaniel’s door and slurred “shhtrip away my chonshiceness”? What a hoot. This song is so weirdly sexy, and Rebecca owning her sexuality is always a delight to see. Nathaniel and Rebecca have such palpable chemistry that it practically flies off the screen, and this personifies their relationship. Besides, this song is so dark and sexual, I love it. I mean, I now know the next song I’m going to belt at someone the next time I want to seduce them. Favourite lyric: “You’re like Professor Snape in his sad dungeon with his potions / ‘Cause somehow you don’t have that sucky thing called emotions.” 4. No One Else Is Singing My Song I mean, duh! This is such a feel-good, ironic, tongue-in-cheek musical number that this show is perfect at delivering. From Rebecca being in prison to the grocery store guy declaring “we’re out of paper bags”, it’s such a weirdly winning combination that I can’t get enough of. It’s also so damn catchy, too, which always helps! As more and more cast members join in on this song, the more I love it. Hence why it got a solid #4 ranking out of my favourite Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs. Favourite lyric: “It’s late and getting colder / You’re only getting older / And you’re next to someone / Who is fast asleep (that’s so specific)” 3. Feelin’ Kinda Naughty This is the catchiest song you’ll ever hear. Deal with it. Embrace it. Love it. Because it’s taken over your life now. You’ll be humming it when you wake up, and you’ll be singing it when you go to sleep. Feelin’ Kinda Naughty owns you And I’m perfectly okay with that. It’s such a bop, a perfect bubblegum pop tune with dark and twisted lyrics. How delicious. It’s very Katy Perry-esque, mirroring the late 2000’s vibe perfectly. This was the song that made me realise how unique and special this show is, and I’ve never looked back since. Favourite lyric: “I wanna cut the silky hair right of your head / And slurp it up like spaghetti.” 2. Eleven O’Clock Oh good, an abstract theatrical space, now I can finally think. I mean, this song is the culmination of Rebecca’s entire character arc. And, let’s be honest, I’m a sucker for a medley. Weaving in all of Rebecca’s hit songs over the past four seasons, showing us how far she’s come and what’s she overcome? Hell to the yeah. Honestly, the first time I listened to this song I got goosebumps all over my body. The visuals of this song are so sick, too. Seeing all of Rebecca’s iconic outfits whizz past her as she belts out the songs’ various choruses is something I didn’t know I needed until it happened. The only reason I ever-so-slightly hate this song is because every single time I look at a clock and it’s 11… well, you know what happens. I also love how she’s just posing like a clock IRL at the end of the number, leaving Paula totally bewildered. Which then, in turn, sets her on her path of song-writing, and finding her own happy ending. Yes Rebecca! Favourite lyric: “In case you can’t tell time, it’s still eleven o’clooooooock.” 1. You Stupid Bitch I mean, it had to be. It’s simultaneously the most satisfying and depressing song to belt out (badly, I might add) at the top of your lungs. After having it stuck in your head for a few hours days, you find yourself thinking: ‘hold on, maybe I am a stupid bitch’. For me, it was the first time in the show that I felt as though something deeper was...
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