Mutant Man-Mouse Hybrid Escapes UW Lab
Disaster struck the U District Monday, as a 6-foot, three-hundred-pound man-mouse hybrid escaped from containment at the University of Washington's Comparative Genomics Center (CGC) and rampaged through the neighborhood, leaving a trail of terrified children and weirded out adults in its wake. It was awful, said U District resident Penny Orting. It just came out of nowhere and started waving its hands all over the place, slowly walking toward the children... and they just stood there, paralyzed with fear. The genetic abomination is the result of ten years of study at the CGC. A secret project codenamed Icy Smoke Emu was funded by $82 million obtained through an innocuous-looking line-item for test vials in the biology department's annual budget.
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