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"Au revoir, Gopher!": Tried and True Ways to Get Rid of Gophers. | Mind Your Dirt
It's a pastoral and delightful day in the garden. Butterflies dance in light breezes fluttering past my face. A mocking bird alights upon the old cracked wooden fencepost above my head and does its best car alarm impersonation. My senses are keen, honed like a panther that's seen too many bobcat wars in its life. My mission, a simple one: hunt down, humiliate and sterilize all the invasive spotted spurge. I take in all of my surroundings. My very heartbeat is in rhythm with the light breezes and flora and fauna. Yet below me, terror awaits with sharp tooth and claw. From the darkness, he mocks me. Beady useless and lifeless eyes seek out telling rays of sunlight. Monstrous talons caked in clay, blood and tears crumble away at secret passages. In silence he toils. My panther-like stillness and calm trance-like stealth afford me complete invisibility to his heightened senses of seismic activity. I move like Kevin Bacon in Tremors for fear the very stones may prate my whereabouts