Magic Sales: Our Favorite Time of Year - Inside Magic
Ellusionist.com knows we are vulnerable and yet taunts with offers of up to 30 percent off magic we want (need) if we buy in the next three days. Yes, we freely admit we have a problem with Magic. The deficiency is found not in the craft but in our soul. Our double-wide (practically, just shy of a true "double wide" as defined by the ISO) is about to burst at its aluminum strip covered seams with magic purchased and never used. Our stage routine has not changed significantly since 1972 and our close-up presentation is identical to that which earned us the 1974 Florida State Magicians' Convention First-Place trophy. So, counting each deck of cards utilized as a separate trick and not counting the Atomic Light as magic but more as a novelty, we use a total of seven "tricks" in both shows combined. If we learned to do a false shuffle, we'd be down to five tricks total. Our insurance inventory sheet, however, details 421 separate pieces of magic equipment and 1,901 magic books in hard or soft cover. If the Magic Trailer ever went up in a blaze, we could replace both of our shows for just over $35.00; not including a table. We could collect about six hundred times that figure for the loss of our "magic collection." Perhaps your collection is our size our larger. Maybe you are just starting your collection of unused tricks in a spare dresser drawer or trunk. Each time you attend a convention, watch a lecture or visit a magic shop you likely add to the stockpile of regrets and forgotten promises. We're not psychopathic or even amnesiac, but when we are given an opportunity to buy a magic trick (in our very low price range) we usually take full advantage. We then return home to inventory the new effect, perhaps open it from its wrapping, maybe even read the instructions, and, possibly, try it once or twice. We don't intentionally put it into the collection and when we purchase it we never think it will be anything but the primary effect of our new act. If we performed the new act for which we have purchased so many effects over the years, we would be on stage for more than two weeks. This assumes we did not overly milk the sucker effects like "Fraidy Cat Rabbit," "Run Rabbit Run," "Run Wolf Run," "Run Monster Run," "Hippity Hop Rabbits," "Sucker Sliding Die Box," "Shamrock Sucker Sliding Die Box," "Classic Sucker Sliding Die Box," "Nu-View Sucker Sliding Die Box," and "The McCombical Deck." We tried to tour schools with just an hour-long presentation of these sucker tricks. Even though we offered our services for free, we had very few bookings after the first week. We were being sponsored by Kids on Kourse – a front organization for pharmaceutical companies marketing ADHD drugs. They pulled their funding after our bookings tanked. We were sad. They helped us be less sad and get more energy with one of their special compounds. They said it was designed specifically for "Magicians Who Are Sad." In fact, we can send you a free trial of Propocus that will let you try it for 30 days. After that, I can get you literature to bring to your doctor so he or she can refill the prescription. Propocus comes in several doses and unlike earlier anti-sad medicine used by magicians, it leaves no residue or suspicious smells. Plus, if you are insured, it is usually available for the price of a co-pay. Nothing to lose and your happiness to gain. If you would like to try the month-long sample pack (sent in a commemorative pill bottle that can be used as a Blow Wand or very thin Stratospheres) drop us a line. It is not available or indicated for nursing mothers, children under the age of 18 months, happy people (unless they get sad sometimes), users of monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), and of course never mix Propocus with 5-hydroxytryptamine receptor agonist, serotonin precursors, duloxetine or any serotonergic or antidopaminergic agents — to state the obvious. Don't drive while under the influence of Propocus until you know whether it makes you drowsy or impairs your ability to judge distances or vehicle speeds. But our point was that there is something wrong with us. We like to spend money we don't have on magic we don't need. Why? What are we looking for? What don't we have? Perhaps you are like us or perhaps you are not really a magician. Maybe you can resist a good sale on magic that really is very good and would fit perfectly in your act if only you took it out of its wrappings and practiced it one or two times. If that is you, you need to check out Ellusionist in the next three days. We received a nice note from the people over at Ellusionist that they are offering a sale of sales but just for the next three days. You can get up to 30 percent off good magic. These are tricks and videos you will use, we promise. In fact, we have dropped some serious cash on two videos we have craved for a long time. The first is The King Rising Levitation – advertised as The Closest to What David Blaine Does. Check out the video here. The second DVD we need, really need, is Nate Kranzo's Box Monster. We love almost everything Nate Kranzo produces and this is no exception. It is spooky and seems impossible. Check out the video here. We are not hypocrites; just hopeless romantics. We keep spending and searching for the perfect trick. Yes, we'll be forced to move from our practically double-wide home soon but perhaps we'll leave with the key to our comeback, the one trick for which our search has been endured. Or, at least we will have something for the Mystic Hollow Swap Meet.
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