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Paul Ryan abruptly quits speakership, vows to fight necrophilia charges involving Ayn Rand's corpse
WASHINGTON D.C. – Just one week after zombie-eyed granny-starver Paul Ryan announced plans to retire from the House Speakership following the 2018 midterms, Valhalla police are accusing the lusty libertarian of committing unspeakable acts with human remains in Kensico Cemetery. On Tuesd