Steps to TRUE Reconciliation |
Reconciliation. What does this truly mean? Many abusers beg or demand their victims to forgive them for their past behaviors, even though they take no steps to change their future behaviors. At this point, in the abuser's mind at least, you are reconciled. They may even berate you for not feeling lovey-dovey toward them once you've had this conversation. The victim is then left with a feeling that they "should" be able to forgive, and there must be something wrong with them. Is this true reconciliation? I believe it is not. Karla Downing from Change My Relationship agrees. She has a brilliant YouTube video that describes what reconciliation truly is. The video takes about 7 minutes, and is worth the time. I will summarize it below: Karla begins her video talking about her relationship with her husband. He had stopped doing some of his negative behaviors, but Karla still felt a wall between the two of them. If she ever mentioned his