Happy Birthday to Me - Anna Rosenblum Palmer
Here are 42 ways I feel old (er), even though obviously I am NOT OLD. I spent an entire year not knowing how old I was. Today I turn 42. Yet for the past 360 days I thought I was 42 already. Lets call this a bonus year rather than calling last year a lost year, shall we? I see 3am more than I see 10:30pm. I am up wee hours with literal or figurative indigestion. Both bad. Only one can be fixed by Tums. A lovely dish of Tums graces my bedside. (see #3) I say “its too loud” 20 times more than I say “turn that up.” Although come to think of it that may be a sign that I am NOT old. I like tea more than vodka. My neck and shoulder have been hurting for, like, ever. One of the first things I did when we moved to Denver is find a CSA. I see a chiropractor more than a hair dresser. Which would be true even IF I didn’t cut my own hair. Picking up our CSA is one of the top ten activities in my week. I know the phone number of my doctors office. I have a doctors office. Like every healthy lady of childbearing age I used to only have an OBGYN. What else did I need? I have been a mother for more than a decade. Scarves. I have lived in 15 houses. Although that might have more to do with a certain Zillow addiction than age. But even at the rate that I move it takes a more than a few decades to get to 15 houses. My kids work the TV better than I do. Which is obviously the fault of the incompatibility of the “smart” TV and DirectTV but still…they seem to have navigated. I eat dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. If that is not a sign of maturity I don’t know what is… I wash my face and brush my teeth without my mother reminding me. EVERY DAY. I make my bed. I like having my bed made. Two signs in one bed. I like throw pillows. Steve likes to throw the pillows. Win Win. People are naming news websites that I have never heard of…and I forget the name already. The music I love was written 20+ years ago. I am booking a flight to my 25th highschool reunion. I can grow a beard. I barely remember 23. (age and high school) I love my clogs more than my Frye boots. I have more dates for tea than I do for cocktails. Which is OK because of #6. I have 4 lotions on my bathroom counter. I use them. I am older than every single Patriots player. Even our ancient quarterback. I decant my Tums into a dish. (see #3) Picking up our CSA is one of the top five activities of my week. I can’t name a single middle school teacher. Although soon I ...
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