Guide to marrying up (without using the internet.) - Anna Rosenblum Palmer
Steve is hot, has a job that he likes/loves depending on the month, does 100% of our cooking, 75% of our housework, is incredible with our kids, makes me laugh, brings me tea in bed, and drives me around when I ask him to. In addition to my charm, excellent parenting philosophy, and decidedly good dowry I have a few flaws. I am obese, grow strange things off of my back, am super lazy, and require a fair amount of attention, wait I mean space, no I meant attention, actually space (and the ability for my partner to read my mind as well as my moods.) I tell you this not to cast myself as an ogre…but to show that in many measurable ways I married up. It is true that Steve and I complement each other well yet he is not the only example of me advancing in the batting order. If you go all the way back to high school you can check my track record. My boyfriends, and the boys waiting in line to be my boyfriend were always above my paygrade. In high school I had a friend ask how I, a 7 (I was thinner then) had landed all the 10s in our class. I haven’t quite distilled a formula, but it is a mix of strategy where most people hope for magic, truth when most people paint pretty pictures, asking for what I want, and the important distinction of not thinking of men as women with penises. Strategy. 1. Have lots of guy friends. You never interview for your dream job without practicing. Hanging out with guys, having days where you watch football, drive to new places, try curling, and talk about weird science stuff instead of who is dating who is both interesting and keeps you ready for a date. No guy really wants to talk about his relationship with his mother on a first date. Or at least not the guy you want to marry. 2. Leave your house. Head out into the world without surrounding yourself by girlfriends. Unless you like electricians (and I must say, they are a great trade) and want to wire your house for all new lighting you must leave. Go to a concert. Get a dog and go to the dog park. Go to a bar. The challenge doesn’t stop there. Once you are out of your house you need to talk to people. It doesn’t have to be the cute shaggy guy in the corner. Try the dude next to him. Warm up by talking to the bartender, it is her job to talk back. But I repeat. Hit the streets alone. Your wing woman is more likely to squee about the Ryans on screen than talk to the Ryan right beside you. 3. Treat each errand as an opportunity. Sure the postal dude has a wedding ring, but what about the guy behind you in line? Ordering at a counter? Ask him what’s good to eat, ...
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