Who's Jade?

i don’t have any other followers it’s actually just you and me here

The Story of the Scully Box.

This is the most adorable thing ever. Aaaahhh. 

i went digging because i knew this existed! here she is falling off the box!!!

it's one of those days where my boobs hurt. it must be because my heart is so full of love

Someone's trying to kill you with a voodoo doll but didn't account for your huge badonkers

that also

For 10+ years a child goes to a forest to play/talk with the fairies there despite local legends of their sadism/cruelty, and afflicting fates worse than death. So when the now 16 y/o child is abducted, the traffickers find out not all local legends are BS when the fairies come for their “pet”.

Yes, you can wear my hoodie.

Yes, it smells like me.

Yes, I'll fuck you while you wear only that.

Anymore questions?

Fuck sex. I am tryna be your home, your safe place, your go to person, the reason your mental health is getting better.

We still gonna have rough sex tho.

all I wanna be

i just need someone to eat me out in like a really aggressive possessive way okay?

how do I send him this?

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.

unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.

she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.

^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

ⓘ This user is desperate for hot makeout sessions w inappropriate touching

Sometimes I get this urge to talk to you and then I remember that things are different between us now. It is kinda sad because I miss you a lot.

sorry you put your hand on my cheek and I immediately opened my mouth for you to put your thumb in.