it's miranda

You say jizz every time you say oranges.

real talk my mom never invaded my privacy, always knocked and waited for my “come in” instead of barging into my room, never tried to read my texts or journals or notes, and I always came to her with sensitive subjects; to the point of telling her I lost my virginity the /day/ I lost my virginity

what I’m saying is: respect your kids’ privacy and they will come to you with shit you’re worried about them doing

take it from someone raised the opposite; not respecting your kid’s privacy and rooting thru all of their shit, making them feel paranoid etc, will just turn them into a very good liar who withholds everything/makes up convincing stories and is really good at hiding things from you right under your nose.

My mom also respected my privacy 100% and wasnt over protective and i dont think ive ever really lied to her? Maybe somethin small and dumb but i tell her everything, including the day i lost my virginity. My mom is my best friend. Always respect your kids pls.

on one hand this is hysterically funny, but on the other someone’s gonna get lit on fire or blown up at this rate lmao

the president is about to start WWIII over twitter and it’s only the first week of 2018

This 100% the pettiest and most dangerous beef I’ve witnessed on twitter

we over here sipping tea and laughing but we about to get fried by either one of these “buttons”

Kittens explore fake yellow grass

no emoji in the world can replace the depth of :/

*cancels plans* sorry i can’t come i’m ugly

I need a man nasty enough to finger me under the table but grown enough to send just because flowers to my job. Lmao.

2018 imma really end up spoiling someone’s daughter emotionally and materialistically

@ me next time

do you know how cute i would be if i had more money 

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

unmute

I have never so joyously reblogged a bird video in my life. 

they’re talking to each other omg (‘:

This is my favorite video in all of world history I would die for these cats

please just read the whole thing

what a fucking ride