@me

me @ the concept of living my life: i’ll wait in the car

i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot

a friend of mine told me about her friend i think from high school who was gay but not out, and he pretended for a while to have a girlfriend named Amanda who he would go see a lot, and they’d be all, come hang out with us and he’d be like sorry I’ve got a date with Amanda, and they were like when are we gonna meet this Amanda??? anyway he kept this up for like a year until he finally came out; and when his friends were like, “wait, what about Amanda?” he said, “IT’S A MAN, DUH.” 

i have literally never admired anyone’s commitment to a joke more

the worst pain is to make small talk with the person you once told everything.

The worst pain is stepping on your pet’s little feet and knowing that they don’t understand what “I’m sorry” means 😩😩😩😩

Other girls: slutty clothes, skinny legs, flat stomach

Me: classy clothes, 6 ft tall, vice president, i am joe biden

Eduardo Pedro Oliveira

tbh I am ugly but I’m also gorgeous it’s very complex

sorry i stopped talking to you my anxiety convinced me that you hated me, whoops

I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective 

According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.

I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…

date someone who will sit down & say “let’s fix this” instead of being a child and ignoring you

But also make sure you respect your partners need for space, don’t force your presence on them in the name of “fixing” things. Sometimes people just need time