some things and stuff

this is your captain speaking, i wouldn’t be worried about anything but just in case can everybody on the left side of the plane hold on tight

this is a new one.

Update on this: Whenever I open a new Tumblr tab, this glitch is not present. However, when I check on another tab or play video games for a while, then come back, it reasserts itself.

The width it allows me to scroll is also inconsistent, which leads me to believe that my Tumblr dashboard, when not actively monitored, is becoming wider over time.

i want to be a conventionally attractive wealthy skinny ciswoman so i can go on the bachelor and make it all the way thru the competition, and when the guy proposes to me i just like leap towards him and close my teeth around his neck and bite as hard as i can. just absolute animal brutality like shaking his neck like a ragdoll, growling ripping tearing etc, and then before anyone can stop me immediately run into traffic and die so no one ever gets the chance to understand why that happened

many women flock to the enchanted object known as “grilled cheese”

My favorite gag is mixing up the distinction between oft confused terms. Like, oh no, it's quite simple: stalactites have hit the earth's surface but stalagmites are found in space. Meteorites can be distinguished by their round snouts and asteroids by their sharper snouts. Oh, and remember: crocodiles hang from the ceiling. It's alligators that point up from the ground.

I do not give a shit about one piece

Might I interest you in two piece then?

So I was made to feel old today...

Two decades today

business majors are like orcs to me. and not the hot kind

dnik toh eht ton dna .em ot scro ekil era srojam ssenisub

the backwards version for anyone who needs it

how many of my followers do you think are from the mirror dimension

sigh

Petting an animal's back like woah you got a spine in there good job fellow vertebrate

(via @some-loser-called-jab )

it’s so bizarre when animated American films are set in a certain location and then only certain characters have the accents of that place. It makes no damn sense!! like

WHY IS SHE MORE FRENCH THAN THE REST OF THEM???

WHY ARE THESE GUYS MORE SCOTTISH THAN THE KIDS??

(also, aren’t they Vikings or something?)

To be fair, almost everyone in Ratatouille does have a French accent. The real question is why Linguini and also all the rats sound intensely American

If it was just the rats I’d say it’s because the movie can be interpreted to mean that the rats understand but don’t necessarily speak human languages so the rat dialog isn’t literally taking place the way we see it but that doesn’t explain why Linguini has a rat accent

LINGUINI HAS A RAT ACCENT 

Do we ever hear like

For sure that Linguini grew up in France tho?

It could be possible he’s just an American immigrant

I mean his name is Alfredo Linguini so I always assumed he was Italian

I’m sorry his first name is Alfredo?

What

ALFREDO???

he’s American you guys his mother was American it was mentioned in the beginning

I’m sorry, I’ve moved on to the fact his mother was going through her cupboard for baby names

Alfredo was a name before it was a sauce let’s go over the movie from the top again

This is Alfredo di Lelio (right) the inventor of fettuccine Alfredo, he’d come out to the table and make it in front of you by hand

The chap on the left is an airport

I think you might have your left and right mixed up, my friend

Great post everyone. Hit the showers.

I am taking everyone who made a poll to gauge the True Percentage of Queers on Tumblr and putting them through a statistics course

Relevant xkcd