this is making me lose it

In case you think the writers on strike aren't making good use of their time, think no more!

Only click the read more if you're fully prepared. I'm taking no responsibility past this point.

See this is what I mean when I say men are incapable of being sexy. They THINK this is sexy. Meanwhile me and the other ladies in the comment section……disgusted. Horrified. Cringing. Feeling secondhand embarrassment

god bless but i don’t think women were the target audience for this

I am not forklift certified.. ITS ME AND @lordsooga WITH OUR YIGA COSPLAYS AAHHHHH

Glory to Master Kohga!

Your daily dose of spooky posts

theyer old enough that they used to connect 

They're older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It's why we're like this, I think. You don't stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You're always going to be a little Off.

Implicit storytelling in two tweets:

Yeah. They did that. I bet the ‘clarification’ came as a result of some strong legal threats.

So be aware in the coming weeks that if your favorite actor reportedly says something shitty about the strike that makes your blood boil? Check the sources. There’s going to be a lot of uh, spin in the news.

Really glad it clarified everything in the same post and for the warning to be cautious going forward cuz after the 1st tweet for a second I was like, “welp, guess we hate Matt Damon now” (which is also on me, shouldn’t just take everything at face value especially on subjects you’re so heated about).

If those trees were pollarded annually, the cut areas would NOT look like that. There would be big knobs of old growth at the trimming sites. Not seeing any of that here. The way those trees were topped (not pollarded, which is a very careful process that has to begin when the tree is immature) is excellent way to kill them due to loss of hydration, open sites to infection and parasitism during the best time of year for both, lack of nutrition due to so little greenery and new budding growth being left, sunburn and other exposure damage, and a myriad of other possibilities. Plus, if they were topped annually, they would not have the lovely drooping branches seen in the other picture but would have tons of vertical suckers instead.

This is what an annually pollarded mature tree should look like:

If this was done by the city, the public works arborists should be protesting in front of city hall and screaming their heads off right now. I'm not hearing about that, so... Tree law!

Translation: Person behind camera; *knock down one card* “Go.” Other person;“Is your character mentally stable?” Person behind Camera; *Looks at card* “Yes” Other person; *Slaps down all but one card* “IT’S MOMO”

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS.  THERE WERE ONLY A FEW DOZEN NOTES WHEN I SAW IT LAST.

Anon hate from the late 1800’s.

What I love most about this is that this person was SO INCENSED at the recipient that they couldn’t even wait the days/weeks it would take for the mail to go through. No, they had to say “FUCK YOU” as soon as fucking possible and, AND, let the recipient that they were not done with the fuck you, nay, this was merely the first volley in what would undoubtably be a dressing down of Biblical proportions.

i will gleefully reblog this every time i see it

oh hey its the post i based this off of

#Like I KNOW the orig post is fake but I needed to keep the energy (via @theshitpostcalligrapher)

find me in the future.

On the topic of English people being shitheads towards Welsh people - This fucking dude today on AITA

Yeah pretty sure we're all hoping for a divorce on this one lol

how did this fucker say it's "not as bad as it sounds" and then somehow end up being even worse than it sounds by the fourth sentence

Further updates, I couldn't resist looking this one up.

Character development.

I’m a little hung up on the “our daughter has a Welsh name my family can’t spell or pronounce” and then it’s literally the easiest name. Hell, that’s MY name, and granted I don’t pronounce it the Welsh way, but it’s literally 5 letters.

Anyway at least he came around and realized he was the asshole.

there are 2 Ethans in my daughter's class. you'd think they'd go by Ethan L and Ethan M, but they decided together that they would like to be called Lethan and Methan and I think that's fantastic

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

facts

ahhh honey, people lie about being sick

Oh illiterate honey that isn’t the topic of discussion

always be suspicious when someone tries to derail a conversation by talking about people taking ‘advantage’ of a social safety net. brings this to mind:

You know what, no, I’m adding to this:

@unaenanasinamor

“People lie about being sick” is practically verbatim what the management at my old factory job told me when I expressed concern back at the start of the COVID pandemic, that their staunch refusal to change or allow leniency to their attendance policy was going to result in a lot of people getting sick because it would make people still come into work while symptomatic and then start passing the virus around like a damn football. And these were concerned expressed right after we had made it through a flu season where that very thing fucking happened.

So I quit that job because I wasn’t going to get sick off of their refusal to grant any wiggle room for employees that started showing symptoms, and you know what happened?

A month later, they shut down, because they were overrun with positive cases, and one of their employees fucking died.

So. Your comment may be 4 years old and predate COVID by 2 years but uhhhh. Shut the fuck up, actually. Even prior to COVID I suffered every time I had to spend nearly an entire check just to get the proof I needed to not be fired. I never earned that money back. I missed a week of work due to a massive STAPH infection and came back to a boss desperate to push me out of the job because it was her shitty working conditions that made me sick in the first place.

People should be able to go to the doctor without it bleeding them dry and people should be able to take time to rest without fear of reprisals. Asshole.

I always wonder if people’s minds would change if they know how differently higher status/paid jobs handle this?

I’m sick and the entire process to taking a week off was canceling a bunch of meetings and chatting my boss, “I’m sick, I’ll be out.” His entire response? “Rest up! :)”

I took two weeks off this spring and applied for family medical leave, and he told me if it didn’t come through, to just take the time and not worry about it. I really do not say this to brag, I say it to highlight how deeply unjust it is that the people with the best healthcare and wages are also assumed to be trustworthy. Are you really angrier about somebody in retail cheating Marshall’s than about that?

Welfare Trolley Problem: You could pull the lever to save all six people from being killed by the train, but it’s possible that one of them might be faking it.

also … doctors will lie too. Because they fucking hate writing sick notes.

My father is a retired doctor of internal medicine, and he hates that shit so much. For one thing, it means some shitty manager has turned my dad into his student hall monitor, handing out passes instead of helping heal people. It’s a waste of time and resources, and it’s insulting.

But the main thing is, a policy like that endangers people.

Say you have the flu. Fever, cough, sore throat. First of all, he can’t help you. The doctor is just going to tell you to drink a lot of fluids and sleep and stay home. Many many illnesses are like that, all you can really do is stay hydrated and let your body do its thing. But you knew to do that already. 

Since you’re there already, he’s going to recommend some over the counter medicine, and if you are a loud enough asshole and your doctor works for a shitty enough hospital, he’ll cave and prescribe you antibiotics that won’t work because the flu is a virus not a bacteria, but that’s a whole other post. 

The thing is, he has other patients. And some of them are immuno-compromised, and some of them have conditions that make lung illnesses or fevers particularly risky for them, and you just brought your extra-contagious self into the same waiting room they sit in. Touched a bunch of doorknobs, rode the elevator with a couple nurses, leaned in to hear what the receptionist was saying… all so that he can tell you the best thing you can do is not leave your house for any reason, which you knew already but your fucking job made you do it.

my father was so angry about it he used to offer any amount of time for any reason. Like, you’d come in and say, like, my shoulder is too sore to lift things at my lifting job, note for two days please, and my dad would literally just say “how long do you actually want off work?” as in, if you had the money to take six months off and wanted to, he’d write the note for six months. As far as he was concerned, the more it screwed over the business making both of you do this bullshit, the better.

So. It’s not like forcing people to get a doctor’s note prevents lying about it, if that was your main reason for thinking it’s a good policy.

also … doctors will

lie too. Because they fucking

hate writing sick notes.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

The reason low-wage employment like retail and food service makes you jump through hoops like that is because they all practice understaffing which means if one person drops out the shift is fucked

this is NOT YOUR PROBLEM but they make it your problem because they don’t want to deal with the negative consequences of their own shitty penny-pinching tactics

so managers do everything they can to discourage you from calling out and if you do call out they make it your responsibility to find someone to cover when it’s the manager’s fuckin job to manage innit

the impulse to hide what I'm doing at my computer still sits so deep even tho I'm literally never looking at anything objectionable , the door will open and I'll hurry to close the page like oh fuck no one can know I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for the Balkans

people today with access to more raw information than any other period: the earth is flat

german artilleryman in 1916, who barely washes his own ass: I need to account for the curvature and rotation of the earth when plotting my firing plans

Eratosthenes, an Egyptian, in 3750 BC when fucking mammoths hadn’t even gone extinct yet: Oh hey I can use these two obelisks to calculate the earth’s entire circumference based on the length of their shadows and the Earth’s curvature. Neat.

Erastothenes was born in 276 BCE.

The last mammoth died on in island off the northeast coast of Siberia in ~1650BCE.

And as I’ve pointed out previously, the Coriolis effect was known even earlier than that, although it may not have become important to gunnery.

I find it utterly bizarre that humans saw these megafauna.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/02/science/woolly-mammoth-extinct-genetics.html “ In fact, the Wrangel mammoth’s genome carried so many detrimental mutations that the population had suffered a “genomic meltdown,” according to Rebekah Rogers and Montgomery Slatkin of the University of California, Berkeley. Analyzing the Swedish team’s mammoth data at the gene level, they found that many genes had accumulated mutations that would have halted synthesis of proteins before they were complete, making the proteins useless, they report Thursday in PLOS Genetics. “ That “genomic meltdown” is one of the reasons feminism is so potentially lethal, because they keep pushing for asexual reproduction, or trying to combine ovaries, when the most likely outcome is a population running about - unable to reproduce sexually since the whole “male genocide” bit - with incredibly damaged chromosomes. Sex exists for a reason, and no, “because it’s fun” is not the answer, sorry. It works better than reproduction otherwise. Which is why every complex species uses it. Intelligence requires a lot of things to be working correctly, and if you have an all female species that is over the tipping point of idiocy, then there won’t be enough people to maintain the technology to continue to reproduce. And humans will go the way of the Wrangel beasties. Fortunately, feminists are horribly lazy bastards, so i doubt they’ll continue to get their way, but it does made for a decent plot for a dystopian fiction…

What …the fuck?

That went off the rails so suddenly like I thought I was just gonna learn something cool about mammoths and then WHOA.

I scrolled past this thinking “the earth is round, yes, something, something, mammoths…’ 

But the second time it came past I saw 

And I think I got whiplash from that pivot. I also laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe. 

I’m????

Point and laugh at the MRA, kids. 

How … does he think … mammoths reproduced …

Never mind, not sure I want to know.

reblog to support Mammoth Feminism,

ignore for G E N O M I C M E L T D O W N

I here af for my Feminist Mammoth ladies, bring the species back!

DOWN WITH GENOMIC MELTDOWN

I… what exactly is combining ovaries supposed to achieve? 400 lazy feminist babies at the same time?

Shhhh…you weren’t supposed to tell anyone.

FEMINISM KILLED THE MAMMOTHS

I feel like we’re getting away from the main point here, which is that the world is flat

the world is only flat because it was trampled by feminist mammoths

reblog if you support your army of genetically-melted feminist mammoths that trampled the earth flat

Don’t anybody tell this guy about that species of lizard where there are only females it might break him

My head hurts after reading that. 

I’m sending this post to @wehuntedthemammoth

Why would you hurt me like this?

I teach genetics, I don’t deserve to have to explain why this is so wrong and yet. Oh my god. 

I reblogged this before but I have to do so again because of the above takedown with its glorious insults. Also, it’s always fun to point and laugh at MRAs.

I am in awe.

“Mueller’s Ratchet kind of presupposes that going in and manually editing a genome isn’t a fucking option, shitwad!” and “you pathetic snailsucking weed in the garden of knowledge” are honestly awe-inspiring and I’m fucking blessed I read them today

This is beautiful

It’s been long enough since I last saw this post that I’d nearly forgotten and it still fucking hit me like a goddamn freight train.

Fucking poetry there, Shakespeare would be hard pressed to improve upon these lines.

@shitpostsampler The snailsucking jellyfish fellator quote is golden.

Are we just going to ignore “a crumbling, confused pile of enraged starfish”?

‘oh hey that’s funny :D man, flat-earth sure is one of the stranger conspiracy theories isn’t it. ooh who was Eratosthenes? i should look him up! and now we’re talking about mammoths,  cool , i love mam

“a crumbling, confused pile of enraged starfish”

now this… this is a post on tumblr dot com

i’m still sad Eratosthenes missed out on the mammoths by like >< much

Evil biology facts that fill me with Fear :)

hey, I heard y’all like evil biology facts like knowledge about horse blood types.

well! today I was researching alternative biochemistries extraterrestrial life could use and. man. I think Earth life is fucked up enough for me thanks

Oooh, the gutless worm genus was news to me! That is SO COOL!