The Mystery Machine is what i call my dick

mary shelley writing about a monster rejected and abandoned by its creator and dedicating it to her own father i need to smoke a blunt with her i need to give her head

Whore

hey, uh. what the shit

This is just so powerful

i love when guys come in and order samwiches like "oh this ones not for me its for the WIFE haha such a weird order i know but its not for me its for my wife. i wouldnt usually order this but its for my wife" like alright mister whatever you say 🤨 heres your sissy lil faggy homosexual samwich! for YOU!

Cindy this is bones

NASA putting mice in zero-g environments is one of the funniest fucking tests anyone has ever done and I hate having to hand that to them. Put those beasts in a situation.

Thank you sir, this is one of the most frightening statements I have ever read.

Baby can do a little a cocaine, as a treat

its snooseday!!!!!! (snoopy tuesday)