here vampires, vampires

So, listen, Giles's story is so fucking tragic because his biggest fear, from the very beginning, was always to fail, and no matter how the wheel turns, someone is calling him a failure.

In Nightmares we find out that he was having nightmares about Buffy dying, a girl he had known for a couple of weeks at this point, because HE had failed her. Then in prophecy girl he tries to do what he believes to be right, send Buffy to face the master, knowing that it will be her death. And when he realizes that that is the wrong thing to do, he tries to go instead. At that point however, Buffy has decided to go and knocks him out, he has failed both as a watcher in sending his slayer into battle, and as a parental figure, in keeping her safe. She dies, and he most definitely blames himself for that.

Then in Helpless he is again trying to perform his duties as a watcher, until Buffy shows him that those ways are cruel and heartless. He then tries to break of the trial, only to realize that it's too late because the vampire has taken Joyce, so Buffy has to go trough the house anyways. Meanwhile his trying to break it of means that he gets fired by the council while his having started it in the first place leads to him losing Buffy's trust.

In season five he has pretty much abandoned all loyalty to the council, and is now torn between Buffy and the world as a whole. He has to protect the world, and therefore they might have to sacrifice Dawn, but Buffy is such a big part of the world and sacrificing Dawn would mean breaking Buffy. In the end he is just enough to save the world, but not nearly enough to save Buffy. He blames herself for her death, both her deaths, and can't help but wonder if she would have been better of without him (as is shown in his monologue to the Buffybot). He has failed in all the roles he has ever taken on, watcher, father, librarian (he blew up the library!) friend, partner.

So when Buffy miraclously returns to life he thinks that it's best that he stays away from her, so that he won't fail her again.

I'm not saying that leaving was the right thing to do, but I think people often picture Giles as a more put together person than I've ever seen him, capable of making a rational decision. I believe that it was mostly fear, desperation and selfdoubt that made him leave, and he tries to justify it to himself as it being the best thing for Buffy.

★ BTVS Movie Posters: Episode: Anne

random gifs of buffy summers: part 10/?