snailway to heaven 🐌

obsessed with this letterboxd review of mary beard’s caligula documentary

i mean... there were quite a lot of years between the death of Caligula and the invention of therapy but it's certainly true that therapy came after the death of Caligula

Generational trauma

hurt people hurt people :/

My favourite thing is when the pixel art videogame lets you walk on the bed and it makes it look like you are under the blankie

found footage

takes my boyfriend with a humiliation kink out for dinner for his bday & tells the staff it’s his bday & when they come out singing happy bday he gets so hard that he passes out

this is very very funny

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

“i love bible”

Readies my attack animation

Holds it

Parries, too early

Recovers

Parries, too early again

Hey, hey! It's alright. This attack timing is really difficult. I'll count it down so you can get the timing perfect, okay? 3, 2, 1...

Parries

UNPARRYABLE HEAVY ATTACK

MICHAEL MYERS WAS 21?????????????

he should’ve been at the clubbbbbb……..

Going to stupid bed at a stupid reasonable hour for my stupid mental health.

Mark Rothko, Four Darks in Red, 1958

happy one year anniversary to the time i was in vermont in a dorm with a carbon monoxide leak and jacked off to this painting

there are digimon in your computer right now fighting the darkness to make our world safe and all you can post about is cum

(trying to win the masses over) imagine how easy a booty call would be in a walkable city