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Legolas Is A Lifestyle

@what-your-elf-eyes-see / what-your-elf-eyes-see.tumblr.com

talk to me about your headcanons
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i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

i’m fine

I will never get over how Tolkien & Lewis took the horrors of war and spun them into fantasy.

Shivering in the trenches dreaming of cozy hobbit holes, shaking as bombs pockmark a forest and imagining each shallow mud-filled crater contains a new world—that maybe there are still as many beautiful things in the universe as there are bombs—that maybe the world is bigger than this moment and this ugliness and one day this will be a peaceful forest again full of small ponds.

I mean look at these photos of the shell craters in Sanctuary Woods, near Ypres Belgium and tell me it’s not the Wood Between The Worlds:

…oh.

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You know... I really thought I was crazy about how ROP's costumes look so shitty until I came across pic below of this character and saw she's actually wearing a long-sleeved shirt underneath her chestplate with the exact same gold scale design printed on.

Remember folks, the budget of this show is half a billion dollars compared to Peter's Jackson Lord of the Rings 250 million budget released twenty years ago and still looking beautiful.

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I love the concept of Tooks. "Everybody in the Shire is very very businesslike and respectable and has no use for adventures except for this one entire family of mad lads who also run the municipal government"

The decision by the kings of Arnor to name the Tooks rightful thanes of the Shire was actually a 3000-IQ play by the Witch-King of Angmar to keep the Tooks far the fuck away from him

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The "If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn't have a choice my dude" is killing me, like I'm just picturing the LOTR casting directors running around Wellington with a measuring tape, black-bagging tall guys and shoving them into vans.

"You're a Lord of the Rings extra now."

"No! Please! I have a family! I'm supposed to work the closing shift at the Pita Pit tonight!"

"You serve at the pleasure of the Steward of Gondor now."

You are the third kiwi who's first comment is the fact that, no, New Zealand did not in fact have a Pita Pit in 2001.

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Aragorn: Listen, as the top in this relationship, I think we should-
Legolas: I can’t believe you’re pulling rank on me
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Tolkiens world building is great in the two towers eomer’s like “yeah we don’t trade horses with sauron but he does raid us and he only takes the black horses” like what a commitment to the aesthetic. He’s so evil that he can’t have horses of other colours. How common are black horses? This has to be inconvenient for all of the servants of Sauron

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“more dangerous and less wise” my ass gandalf guess who didn’t partake in any kinslaying? guess who didn’t challenge morgoth to a 1v1 and sauron to a sing-off? guess who didn’t blaze a path of destruction across middle-earth over a handful of gems and instead made a career of minding their own goddamn business that’s right, the wood elves

Thranduil drunk-said this at Rivendell next time he was in town for the Conference of People in Arda with Some Power to Do Things and Elrond regretted not keeping a tighter lock on the wine cellar