Anonymous asked:
Cat, what do you suggest for someone who had a really bad day?
worry not for im know somebeody whom is expert in vanquishinge bad days
he is beinge summoned. remain calmb
cousin bartók is arrivinge imminently !
cousin bartók have arrived bearinge mighty furs & soothinge gift of moss. bad days are now vanquished permanentlé
i love to use my pedestrian right of way... youre not going lol
ND culture is getting irrationally angry about people outside playing music too loud because of auditory sensory issues
Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."
Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).
It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys
They're calling him 'untraceable' because he was hanging out at a hackerspace and talking about how he didn't want to pre-register for the con because that could be traced back to his real name, so he was going to pay cash. Then someone else was like "bills are serialized, if you really wanted to be untraceable you'd pay with dollar coins like Redacted did a couple years ago," and Quarter Boy was like "I have an even BETTER idea. I'm going to double down for the meme potential," and then put a note in his bag of quarters that said "Blame Redacted, I had to beat his high score," so this wasn't even an *original* troll. He wanted to be a legend and instead became a cautionary tale. He wanted to get laughs and instead he got laughed at. He wanted everyone at the con to know who he was, and now everybody knows he's Quarter Boy.
Legitimately I don't have any idea why he thought this was a funny joke that would make him look good, and there are very few things you could do that would draw more ire from attendees than inconveniencing the volunteer convention staff during the registration rush when everyone just wants to get through the line (and in spite of diverting me to counting quarters and loudly explaining the reason for the delay to the massive line, we managed to get 150 attendees checked in over the course of 25 minutes while ALSO selling 50 shirts).
And I mean. Of course we could have put him aside and counted the quarters later, but then fewer people would have witnessed the legend of Quarter Boy, the untraceable hacker who realized exactly how much he'd fucked up about four minutes into hearing us answer "what's with the quarters?" with "some asshole thought it would be funny" over and over and over again.
You know what *was* a good joke this convention? One guy made stickers that were almost-but-not-quite exactly the logo for a hackerspace (one letter off) and stuck them all over the convention area, prompting outrage and a spur-of-the-moment Easter egg hunt from the hackerspace guys that escalated until he was covering their logo on their merch with his stickers and was using sleight-of-hand tricks to sneak his stickers into their pockets and bags.
1. A type of turtle called a Coastal plain cooter (Pseudemys floridana) is hit by a car near my apartment
2. The injured turtle is brought to my veterinary school for medical care while I am on rotation in the wildlife ward
3. The turtle is assigned to my classmate (not someone I know terribly well) as a patient
4. The turtle is treated for a minor shell fracture and my classmate spends two weeks taking care of the animal (in addition to a box turtle)
5. The turtle with the shell fracture recovers very well and is cleared for release into the wild, in a pond near where it was found
6. While birding at the pond some time later I see a turtle of this species out sunning itself and am excited to think it is my classmate’s former patient
7. Next time I see my classmate I say, at full volume in front of people, “hey I think I saw your cooter!”
If it's any consolation, when my aunt was getting her equine medicine degree, she had an anatomy professor that called his weekly tests "Quizzies".
The first time my aunt had one of these weekly tests, she found it unexpectedly difficult, and upon completion of the "Quizzie", walked up to the front of the class, slapped the paper down and loudly announced "If this is one of your "Quizzies" I dread seeing your "Testies"!"
Working in food service is so surreal because like… nothing I do for people is anywhere close to life and death, but some customers absolutely act as though it is. I look a woman dead in the eye and solemnly inform her that unfortunately we are out of oat milk, and I see her heart shatter in front of me, right there at the bakery counter at 8 in the morning. I feel like a handsome TV surgeon informing someone that their beloved fiancée died on the table. He’s gone… I’m so sorry. We lost him. We are out of oat milk
they hate me because i'm silly and so intense at the same time
help
out of curiosity because i am obsessed with this billboard, i went to their website and
THEY HAVE AN OFFICE PETS PAGE LMAO
honestly the human brain is so small that you *will* forget how much beauty there is out there to experience unless you leave your house every three days. ik its fucked up but i promise its true
*looks at tiktok username* checks out
It only just occurred to me that you’re probably supposed to group Steam games by genre or something. I group them like this.
HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE FINDING ANYTHING IF YOU DON’T GROUP THEM??
There’s something wrong with all of you, but in an impressive way.
They’re in alphabetical order aren’t they??? I have the alphabet memorized :)
Steam has a search bar, hope this helps