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Hermitcraft And Nightvale Fanblog

@welcometohermitcraft

Hello my name is Candied Peppers and I'm currently obsessed with both block men and gay radio men. She/Her Pronouns

Harry: And why shouldn’t I blame Spiderman for your injuries?? He calls himself a hero, protecting civilians like you should be his priority! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick his ass for letting you get hurt!!

Peter: Because-

Newscaster on the tv next to Harry: In this footage you can see Peter Parker, known freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle, actually shove Dr. Doom out of his way while yelling “move it or lose it,” as he runs with his camera, presumably to capture more pictures of the vigilante known as “Spiderman”

Harry:

Peter: -I’m a dumbass.

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The image of Peter shoving Doom out of the way though. Like, did he get his ass beat? Or was Doom just stunned?

He must have flashbacked to getting pushed around in high school, lying on the pavement wondering why a guy that weighs a hundred pounds wet could shove him so easily in his armor. (I don’t know if Dr. Doom is even physically strong.)

Anyways, Harry’s about to have an aneurysm because of Peter “I push supervillains around for fun” Parker. Mr. One Bad Day Away according to his coworkers.

Shadow! SHADOW. This could tie in with the Polarizer post. The folks at the Daily Bugle see Parker pushing villains around for a shot or when he’s late to work and just goes: Oh, he’s gonna be top dog when he turns.

Just: “Hey Parker, want a coffee? ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒ ᵉᵛⁱˡ, ᵒᵏᵃʸ?”

Absolutely

Also, he was quick enough running that he got away with it, in fact, it’s not till he hears the news that he realizes who he pushed, that point of calling himself a dumbass was him realizing for the first time how badly he fucked up

He spends awhile after that anxiously waiting the consequences of what he’s done, when he runs into Dr Doom as Peter Parker, he’s once again in a bad mood, so several things happen quickly:

Doom confronts him, Peter snarks back at him, Harry freaks out and pulls a weapon out to defend his friend (he’s started carrying one around after realizing how disastrously Peter lives his life), and Reed intervenes because of course if Dr Doom’s running around then the fantastic four are close behind

So not only did everyone see Peter not back down from Dr Fucking Doom, but they all just saw Harry Osborn pull out a weapon, obviously something Oscorp specific that he got from his dad, and realize that Peter’s villainy could easily be funded and supported by Oscorp

It’s at this point that the coworkers who were just making jokes about future villain Parker start to join the others in genuinely believing it

Meanwhile, Peter’s just happy that one of his science heroes defended him …up till JJJ starts yelling at him for not getting pics of the fight despite being right there, meanwhile the rest of his coworkers are behind Peter, trying to silently tell JJJ to stop stop stop

They don’t know what’s preventing Peter from turning into a supervillain, seems like it’d be so easy for him to do so at this point, but they’re happy that whatever it is exists

Honestly, they’d probably believe that Aunt May is the one stopping him, and now every time she gets sick she gets a ton of cards and flowers and gifts from Peter’s coworkers wishing begging for her health to return

This is how “Peter Parker is already one of the villains” rumors surface

(Also!! This could tie in with him having a fake villain identity, he does all that work to make a fake civilian identity to go with it, but because only the villains know about the fake civilian identity, everyone else goes “shit that must be Parker.” he’s freaking out, why are people associating that identity with him??)

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🤣🤣😂🤣 “Shit that must be Parker.”

I need Harry to find out about the supervillain persona apartment. Like, Peter has to desperately explain that it’s for photo-ops or something. He’s not actually a super villain or intending to be and Harry just thinks: Is this why Spider-Man hates him?

Now Harry has a conspiracy board. But also, determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn. Fake name when?

Hear me out tho, Harry hearing that people think Peter (his Petey, his bestest friend) is a villain, and Harry knows damn well that’s not how Aunt May and Uncle Ben raised him, so he does his own investigating

And by a stroke of luck he manages to connect it to Spiderman

It all just loops back around to Harry blaming Spiderman for the things going wrong in Peter’s life

Also yes determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn needs to be a thing

(Jhgfsl Harry creates a secret identity specifically to take down Spiderman because he found out about his secret villain identity, except, maybe due to the use of Oscorp tech, everyone knows it’s Harry immediately, so instead of people realizing he’s trying to be a hero (except for maybe JJJ), everyone thinks Peter’s finally snapped and sent his devoted henchman (Harry) after his obvious arch nemesis Spiderman)

Oh but it gets even worse! The supervillains who Peter “Might be New to Villiany” Parker worked with before they became villains is a pretty interesting list. I imagine a more stable Doctor Curt Connors is mildly horrified that young Parker has turned to crime. (He had such a bright future…) Octavius, who I think usually figures out Spider-Man’s identity, wonders what game he is playing having a hero and villian identity. One which doesn’t even try to hide his civilian identity—to throw people off?

Whether he knows or not, Norman thinks that Peter snapped from the pressure. Now Harry was more expected considering the history of the Goblins. Even just taking the damn serum.

The heroes don’t know what to do. Peter only seems to be focusing on Spider-Man at the moment. Which could of course escalate. Yet it gives them someone to help direct his attention away from civilians. Richards blames himself for failing another Doom situation despite his best efforts. Maybe he should have tried working with Parker more directly? SHIELD wonders how they missed him teaming up with Osborn Industries. Spider-Man himself is not amused by how many different people try budding into his schedule in-mask while avoiding Harry.

Somehow, Aunt May does not hear of this at all.

The real kicker from an outsiders perspective is that Peter still submits photos to the Bugle. He collects a paycheck without trying anything close to robbing people. What type of villian even is Peter if he focuses primarily on Spider-Man? One with morals maybe? (For Now???)

Can I propose that JJJ thinks Peter's villain persona is great and enthusiastically shills for him constantly?

Like, that's his boy, Peter! Fighting the Spider-Menace! He's way too emotionally constipated to ever tell Peter he cares about him to his face, but the alter ego is fair game!

Peter is so tired.

OP I am living for this situation

kljaf;kld yeah peter if harry brought this to him would be like

1) i can't be a supervillain because uncle ben would be disappointed in me (actual reason!)

2) if i was a villain i would be making. so much money. harry look me in the face i would not flagrantly do evil and not even get paid for it, please give me just that many sanity points. just that much credit is all i ask.

kljaf;kld yeah

peter if harry brought this

to him would be like

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

not to be guy who only knows one thing but if the town does outlaw science, think about the parallels with carlos’ time in the dow…

carlos spending 10 years having nothing BUT science to keep him going, to fill the endless stretch of time, to adapt to a new place and new way of living, to soothe the pain of being rejected by night vale… compare that to-

carlos having everything but science to keep him going, having to lean on his family to figure out a new way of living, to find some new way to fill his time, to figure out how to soothe the pain of once again being rejected by what is now his town, but without the tools that kept him grounded before.

to have to learn who he is if not a scientist, which he might see as necessary, but still painful and hard. to have to reconcile that with his relationship with his husband and son, with his neighbors and friends. to have to figure out how to put aside blame and anger that he even has to figure anything out. to have to figure out how he fits into this new world once again. to have to slot his past selves in alongside this new self. maybe he finds a certain joy after long enough, that there is a new thing to be explored, a new way for him to explore.

i think it would be a really cool way to continue this narrative and see carlos change and grow and evolve in a way we really haven’t yet.

meltycure-deactivated20210804

we owe literally no one more on this planet than the woman behind fantasy name generator

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meltycure

her name is emily and and she runs it all by herself

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poetromantics

everyone say thanks emily!!!

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THANK YOU EMILY!

Thank you to Emily at Fantasy Names Generator, for providing all the fantastical names I could ever need for anything!! :D

My favorite part of Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is that if you don't play DnD, it's a solid fantasy movie, but if you DO play DnD, you can feel in your soul the table talk that's almost certainly happening over the events of the movie. Like...

"Are you guys sure you don't want to take a perception check?"

"I said we jump out the window."

or

"And he turns and walks directly northwards away from you guys."

"The map shows a rock-"

"HE WALKS OVER THE ROCK."

or

"Fuck it, I throw a potato."

"Okay... roll for potato, I guess."

"That was a 20."

or

"I know we won, but I have bonus actions and I'm going to use them, damn it."

Baby It’s Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse. 

Explain?

OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan.  People debate strenuously over whether it’s a scene of Lady M pressuring her reluctant husband into it, or whether it’s a scene of her sensing, due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do, and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, “Go on, get the cheesecake, it’s your birthday!”  Readers and scholars disagree strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images that advanced opposite interpretations even though they’d seen the exact same actors do the exact same performance.  It’s a big deal.

In the same way, the Baby, It’s Cold Outside discourse is about whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it’s a woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors wouldn’t talk, and him responding, “Stay, baby, it’s cold out!  No one could expect you to go home in this!”

I really don’t know (baby stab his side) King Duncan’s a bro (baby cut through his hide) I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?) This plan ain’t so great (But what a king you’d make!)

The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!) His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)

I’m not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave) But I’d be a good king (Now you’re starting to think)

The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught) Say, love, what do you mean (You’d make such a king)

I simply must go (baby cut through his hide) There’s a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)

But what of his wife? (And what of his life?) It feels like bad luck (But that don’t mean much)

I’ve got a bad premonition (And I’ve got a mission) But that’s just superstition (My love, you’re a vision)

The witches said I’d rule (If they lied they were cruel) So baby let’s stab Stab his siiiiide!

this addition is made funnier if you imagine the parenthesized text as the lower voice, like it is in “Baby It’s Cold Outside”

Hey y'all, I'd appreciate anyone from the UK signing this petition to allow trans/nonbinary kids to stay closeted from their parents if they're out at school. It's obviously very important that children be able to keep potentially dangerous information about their identity away from their parents, and explore it safely in a school environment.

If it reaches 10k votes the government must respond, and 100k means they need to debate it, but any votes are good for raising awareness and profile.

If you're not from the UK please share this so others see it

^ current signatures on this petition (1/5/23)

vs the general state of the government petitions site regarding lgbtq+ stuff and why it’s important to sign if just to show the government that people do in fact care about queer people

signing is easy but please only do it if youre a uk citizen

Fun game in the tags . If your oc story had a fandom how badly would people butcher your ocs.

I'll go first people would make Rot a human form and make it a blond white woman and argue over if Spectre and Hein have a healthy relationship because they started as enemies

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Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot.

It's very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you're trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you're why the cishets don't accept us or including [aces/bi people with the 'wrong kind' of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can't you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? -- to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.

On Sunday at Pride Northwest, some kids -- late teens, early 20s -- asked what our button I survived Reagan for this? meant. All of the queer adults at the tables making up our ad hoc counter looked at each other and sighed a little. Emet and another adult started to explain the way that the Reagan Administration handled -- or didn't handle -- the beginning of the AIDS crisis. How many people died. How much we were ignored. The Ashes Action. The Time Magazine article which explicitly blamed bisexual men for passing the pandemic to the cishet community, playing on all the worst stereotypical bullshit. The way that even when the CDC started paying attention, they were so focused on gay men that they ignored AIDS in the lesbian community, leading to the "women don't get AIDS, they just die from it" poster. And so on.

I finished counting out change and passed the last Bear Pride raised fist pin over to a bear a little older than me, then turned my head and interjected, "they didn't care until it started infecting more than just the fags." I turned my head back and handed him his change. He laughed bitterly and said, "remember when they called it 'gay cancer?'"

That what I need you to understand. The people for whom you are folding yourself into smaller and smaller boxes will never see you as anything but a freak. A queer. A dyke. A tranny. A fag.

Never.

These are people who will stand by and let you wither away and die alone, gasping for breath in a cinderblock room, and not even claim your ashes, and they will say you deserve it, because of your lifestyle. If they speak of you at all it will be by the wrong name, with the pictures you hate the most. They will curse at your lover, throw him out of the home you shared, and steal the gift you gave last Christmas to throw it in the trash just so he can't have it and they'll say Jesus loves you! while they do it. They'll feel good and righteous and blessed and holy and pure for doing it.

And for them, you spit in the eye of your sister. For them, you disavow your sibling. For their sake, you trim away bits of your heart and lace yourself up tight. Never too loud. Never too queer. Never inconvenient or embarrassing, never asking for too much.

Pete Buttigieg is what happens when your Boomer dad turns out gay. Middle America. Parents still married. Suburban-sprouted. Valedictorian. Harvard-educated. Rhodes Scholarship. Military service. More power to him: I hope he and Chasten are very happy together. Genuinely, I do.

You couldn't create a more respectable gay if you grew one in a lab run by concerned voter focus groups.

But Pete Buttigieg? Is just a fag.

That's the part you don't seem to get: when they abandoned us, they abandoned all of us. Rock Hudson was a beloved movie star and even personally friendly with that horrid pair of ambitious jackals. Nancy Reagan refused to help him get into the only place in the world that could treat him at the time, and he died.

Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, and so am I. Unless I'm a dyke, which seems to depend on who's yelling what from which window and what day it is.

Yes, there will be people who genuinely love and accept you. Those people are worth all the frustration of the rest, thankfully, and they're the ones who love you in a pup mask or a leather harness and a neon jock like the ones sold by the men up the row from us last weekend. They're the ones who laugh out loud when you tell them you hid the word "dyke" in your company name, the ones who love you in all your messiness and uncertainty and the way you don't fit into neat boxes all scrubbed up and clean.

Most cishets, though... well, they don't actively mean you specifically any harm, at least not when they have to look at you. Not when you're right there in front of them. Maybe they'll be okay with you, personally, especially if you're the kind of gay who makes a good rhetorical device, and as long as you remain a good rhetorical device.

They need people to know that they don't have a problem with the gays, after all, and there you are, being all convenient. You make a nice token, and as long as you do, well. You're useful.

But they call you by your deadname when you're not around, and they put the wrong pronouns in your medical record even though they met you years after you came out, and they won't put themselves out to save you. Not one little bit.

I didn't want to be here again. The year I graduated from high school was the worst year of the AIDS crisis. The world into which I became an adult was a world in which an advisor and friend to Reagan, William F. Buckley, openly advocated for forcibly tattooing the HIV status of HIV+ gay men on their buttocks (and IV drug users on their forearms), and in which my father not only told me that when I was 14 or so, but when was told me that he'd advocated for that tattoo being "over their assholes."

(Buckley wrote that in '86, but he doubled down on it in 2005.

Fucker.)

But yeah. I didn't want to be here again. I wanted my daughter to inherit a better world. I wanted Obergefell and Lawrence v. Texas and Hope & Change to really mean something. I work for it, today and all days. I haven't given up.

I need you to know that, too. This isn't a white flag. I'm not surrendering. This isn't over. To misquote Henry Rollins, this is what Marsha and Sylvia and Stormé and Leslie and Brenda and Auntie Sugar trained us for. This is punk rock time.

But I need you to understand that if Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, if that human embodiment of a Wonder Bread, mayo and Oscar Meyer bologna sandwich is not respectable enough for them -- and he's not -- then the rest of us have absolutely no hope of measuring up. Not even if we trim away every colorful, beautiful piece of our community, not even if the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence vanish into the ether, not even if we sacrifice the five elements of vogue on the altar of white supremacist cishet middle-class conformity: we can't trim ourselves down to something they'll accept.

The only other option is radical acceptance of our queer selves. The only other option is solidarity. The only other option is for fats and femme queens and drags and kinksters and queers and zine writers and sex workers and furries and addicts and kids and the ones who can look us in the eye and see all of us to say we're here, we're queer, get used to it just the way we did 30 years ago. It's revolutionary, complete and total acceptance of our entire community, not just the ones the cishets can pretend to be comfortable with as long as we don't challenge them too much, or it's conceding the shoreline inch by inch to the rising waters of fascism until we've got nowhere left to stand and some of us start drowning.

That's it. Either it's all of us or it's none of us, because if we leave the answer up to the Reagans of the world and all the people who enabled him in the name of lower taxes and Democrats who wring their hands, weeping oh I don't agree with it but we'll lose the election if we fight it right now, the answer is none of us.

The brunch gays can come, too, I guess.

This is important. But also who is Pete Buttigieg in all seriousness

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Pete Buttigieg is a US politician best known for being a moderate mom-and-apple-pie Democrat. He's white, upper-middle-class, graduated from Harvard, married to a schoolteacher, Christian, Navy vet. He ran for President in 2016 and he's currently the Secretary of Transportation.

He's the epitome of respectability. If anyone has won the respectability politics game, it's Pete. He's so respectable he doesn't even swear. He looks and acts like a slice of Wonderbread came to life.

He's still a just another faggot.

"these shoes were made for walking" lol well these wings were made for flying. see you gayboy i'm boutta get it *spreads my wings and soars into the air and flies too close to the sun and

(via @12u3ie)

ok then have it your way. the fucking MOMENT this post hits 1k your blog is getting shadowbanned. this i swear by the caged moon and the slime-choked earth

Protective Little Uncle || QSMP Animatic

He will absolutely do m▪︎rder anyone who hurts Tallulah.

Audio is from tjhud13 on tiktok

[video description: Drawings of QSMP characters set to a TikTok audio. The audio is transcribed below, with the characters' speech bubbles in parentheses.

Philza: Are you gonna make sure nobody picks on your brother? (Are you gonna make sure no one picks on Tallulah?)
Chayanne: Mm. Yeah. (Yeah)
Phil: You're gonna stick up for him? (You're gonna stick out for her?)
Chayanne: Yeah. (Yeah)
Wilbur Soot: What is— What's wrong with him? Do you remember what it's called? (What's different about her? Do you remember what its called?)
Chayanne: Aw-taw-sic. (Aw- taw sit)
Wilbur(?): Autistic. (Autistic.)
Chayanne: Awtisit. (Awtisit)
Wilbur(?): Yep. (Yep)
Phil: And if kids pick on your brother, what are you gonna do? (And if kids pick on your niece what are you gonna do?)
Chayanne: Kill them! (Kill them!!!)
Wilbur: No— (No)
Phil: [chuckles] (Haha)

End description.]