Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”
“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”
“NOOOOOOO!”
When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.
When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.
“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”
“NO! One two three!”
“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”
“Noooooo!”
Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”
Tags from @windyvalleyzone
on Halloween at the store i work at there was a little boy in a Batman costume, and as I was helping his mom I kept addressing him as Mr. Superman and Mr. Aquaman & he kept correcting me, “noooo, BATMAN” until they were leaving and he very seriously told me, “actully, I’m Ryan”
mikeyfriskeyhands
My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
auntytimblr
every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post
1. If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.
2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:
zillyart32
THIS IS GOLD
oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet
When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made
eliciaforever
I HAVE NOT SEEN THE CHICKEN VIDEO IN TEN DAMN YEARS HOLY SHIT
STILL FUNNY
The bell
The last question
The woman howling in laughter 90% of the time
It’s all beautiful
It’s all
So beautiful
rowantheexplorer
I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.
Jesse: "Yo, Mr. Fring, I've been thinking about this quote, man. "One must imagine Sisyphus happy." What do you make of that?"
Gus: "Ah, Jesse, I see you've stumbled upon the existential musings of Albert Camus. It's an intriguing concept, to say the least."
Gus: "Sisyphus, condemned to an eternity of rolling a boulder uphill only to watch it roll back down again, represents the futility and absurdity of life's struggles."
Gus: "However, Camus suggests that by accepting and embracing this absurdity, one can find happiness."
Jesse: "Yeah, but I mean, isn't that just some crazy philosophical bullshit? How can someone be happy in such a fucked-up situation?"
Gus: "Happiness, Jesse, is a state of mind. It's not about the circumstances we find ourselves in, but rather how we choose to perceive and respond to them."
Gus: "Sisyphus, despite his eternal struggle, can find meaning and purpose in his repetitive task. By embracing his fate and finding fulfillment in the act itself, he transcends the burden he carries."
Jesse: "That's deep shit, man. So, what, you're saying we should just accept all the crap that comes our way and be happy about it?"
Gus: "Not necessarily. Acceptance doesn't mean complacency. It means acknowledging the realities of our situation and finding a way to navigate them while maintaining our inner peace."
Gus: "It's about finding meaning in the journey, even if the destination remains elusive."
Jesse: "Yeah? I guess that makes sense in some messed-up, twisted way... Hey, speaking of finding happiness, have you tried Taco Bell's Nacho Fries? They're insane, man!"
Gus: "...Nacho Fries, Mr. Pinkman?"
Jesse: "Oh, you gotta try 'em, Mr. Fring! They're like these crispy, seasoned fries with this gooey cheese dipping sauce. It's like a flavor explosion in your mouth, man. I bet you'd love 'em."
Gus: "If they are as remarkable as you claim, perhaps we can find a moment to indulge. After all, even in the face of existential ponderings, we mustn't forget to appreciate life's simpler pleasures."
Jesse: "That's what I'm talkin' about, Mr. Fring! We'll have ourselves a little culinary adventure amidst all the fucking chaos. Life's all about finding those moments of joy, even if it means embracing the absurdity along the way, right?"
Gus: "Indeed, Jesse. Life's contradictions often lead us to unexpected discoveries. Perhaps, we may find a glimpse of Sisyphus' elusive happiness in the process."
Which path should he choose?
The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?
he should wander away and have a picnic while he thinks about what path to choose
Great idea! But where should he have the picnic?
Under the tree, or under the old fort?
By the sea, so he can enjoy the sound of the waves
A lovely choice!
Should he build a sandcastle to pass the time? Or perhaps go fishing?
Perhaps he could collect shells he finds interesting
Sounds fun!
Which shell should he pick up?
This one
That's not a shell, it's a tiny earpiece.
Should he listen to music? Or to the mysterious pre-recorded message?
He should give it back to the crab in the largest shell, they thought they had lost their wave-pod and are grateful he found it!
The crab wants to give a gift in return.
Should he accept the gift of power, or the gift of knowledge?
the gift of friendship :)
Friendship acquired!
Should they celebrate with pizza or ice cream?
The crab friend cannot eat either of those! Let's split a nice seaweed salad instead. :)
So many options!
Should they get tossed salad, wiggly salad, or spiky salad?
Seasar salad
Nothing beats getting it straight from the source
Should they use scissors or claws to cut the seaweed?
What about that sword in the first panel?
The circle is complete.
Through choices, friendship, and salad, he found his way to the path of the warrior. But he won't walk it alone.
Their path is just beginning, but this story is over.
Thank you to everyone who participated!
dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning
so who’s on first?
That’s right 👍🏻
that’s strange
No, he’s on second.
Well how’s he on second if he’s on first?
No no no, House is on third. Second base is Strange.
Well this whole darn thing is strange but what I’m asking is who’s on first?
Naturally.
Naturally.
So Naturally is the first baseman?
No. The first baseman is Who.
Well I don’t know that so how’s about you tell me?
House is on Third.
I’m not asking you about third base I’m asking you about first base.
Who’s on first!
This is horrible
Dr Horrible is the pitcher, not first base
the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week
Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.
heartbreaking: none of artist's other songs are as much of a banger as the song I discovered the artist by
“In one of the most notable moments in sports history, Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was just a few feet from the finish line, but became confused with the signage and stopped thinking he had completed the race.
A Spanish athlete, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him, and after realizing what was happening, he started shouting at the Kenyan for him to continue running; but Mutai didn't understand his Spanish. Fernandez eventually caught up to him and instead of passing him, he pushed him to victory.
A journalist asked Ivan, "Why did you do that?"
Ivan replied, “My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win.”
The journalist insisted “But why did you let the Kenyan win?" Ivan replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win.” The journalist insisted again, “But you could have won!”
Ivan looked at him & replied, “But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor of that medal? What would my Mom think of that?” Values are transmitted from generation to generation. What values are we teaching our children? Let us not teach our kids the wrong ways to WIN.”
