By @BarbroFarbror Twitter

whats the mood for mid-april

what monty python movie is this

nearly the end of april.. you know what that means 

this is an advanced joke

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

this passed the bechdel test

hey people who know astrology shit. ive been having a lot of feeligs lately. any planets i can blame that on.

earth

don’t go to art school. pirate some drawing programs. buy a cheap tablet off of craigslist. take furry porn commissions. draw some wolf cocks. start a patreon. make ten thousand dollars a month. retire at the age of 25. buy an island with your dog dick money. invest in indie games. buy stock in mojang. fly to sweden and hang out with notch. become notch’s friend. have him buy you things because he’s desperate to have friends and doesn’t want to lose you. open notch’s mind. shape him in to a good person. get married to notch. give notch the spark to create a new game. become the artist for notch’s new game. it’s a furry hentai game. start a kickstarter and make another ten thousand dollars. run off with the money. buy another island. draw more dog dicks. get out there. live. 

hmmm

“Does this game have fall damage?” I ask as I have already leapt off the tallest building in the game

“Interesting.” I say as I reload my most recent save.

Old art I never finished or posted (for obvious reasons)

hmm, id say, for obvious reasons, this is fucking perfect as is

tbh 95% of my existence on this earth involves me accidentally running into things in my house and saying “ouch” in the most deadpan voice possible

my mom: “you’re like a roomba except you don’t clean”

this year we oppress apple users

Like y'all can see shit anyway all your phones cracked from dropping it a centimeter off the floor

sorry i cant hear you im too busy looking at someones pores from a mile away with my iphone 7 plus camera with HD retina display and 1920-by-1080-pixel resolution at 401 ppi focus

I know you can’t hear because they removed your headphone jack

choreographer: this guard has two knives. the way they are holding that knife would mean that they could stab rey easily

rian johnson: eh we’ll cgi one of them out halfway through the manoeuvre

cgi artist: edited out the knife boss. what will we do about the fist that is clearly supposed to be holding something that isn’t?

rian johnson: eh we’ll just leave it in. no one will notice it

end result:

how is this fucking movie real

Truth coming out of her well to shame mankind,

Jean-Léon Gérôme, 1896

Flat Bigfoot Theory: They’ve never caught him on camera because he turns 90 degrees and becomes too thin to see. 

Flat Earth Theory is OUT, Flat Bigfoot Theory is IN

This is the THE hottest take I’ve ever heard

this is still the funniest fucking thing i remember being 7 and almost throwing up watching this and now im 20 puking onto my rug