I'm an idiot

from a young age i knew i wanted to give up when things got hard

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, that man has been killed. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

Wanna bone?

how can we lose when we’re so sincere is forever always one of my favourite peanuts bits

I think I can confidently speak for all of us when I say we were all expecting a cat.

he’s literally so right about everything

Fatiha El-Ghorri my hero my empress my star

My oil painting of an Uncrustable

Bothering the beast

only thing that stands between me and going to bed is the entire internet that fits in the palm of my hand

every single fucking thing on earth exists solely to put a dent in your newly applied nail polish