“You look like MADNESS right now”

i love cishet dudes who are super casual lgbt allies. like my roommate tries super hard to prove she’s a good ally and still fucks up my pronouns but then her cousin waltzes in like “hey so she said that you were a girl but youre a dude now. that’s pretty tight bro.” and then did not fuck up my pronouns once despite bein shitfaced

told him i was bi and he was like “dude… ive got a friend who’s a Homosexual and his last bf was toxic as fuhk. i can send him your way. i think he needs to get laid”

like i truly appreciate the spirit behind it

I love this so much

I’m so normal about them

Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.

Hairdresser: pretty simple

Me: this is chemistry

Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way

Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?

Me: apprentice

Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?

Me: I didn’t know that was a thing

Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.

Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator. 

Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?

Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs

Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen? 

Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer

Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?

Me: yeah

Hairdresser: while still in school?

Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases

Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine 

Me: oh thank god

Five Minutes Later

Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves

Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?

Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one

second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious

Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us

Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that

your hair is going to look incredible

Try this finger knuckle massage!

Train your core and impress your friends! (Probably not the second one)

People are like “it’s so beautiful no clouds at all” it could use a little clouds if I had to be honest.

i wore red eyeshadow today and this lil mexican boy like 10 yrs old had his silver chain and hat and was all puffed up machismo but got all shy walkin over to the counter and was like “i really love your eyeshadow” in the most genuine awestruck voice. can’t believe i almost didn’t wear it. i almost missed out on bein “masc mexican dude wearing makeup” representation my heart was so full

im gonna CRY at a crosswalk these two older tough lookin dudes were waitin and one looks back at me and gives me a long unreadable look and i was in the bad part of the city so i was like ah. shit. but then he looked away and reached out to hold the other guys hand. i love bein queer so much i can’t handle this

The in-canon explanation, of course, is that Dusk is trying to stir up shit at every opportunity while embedding themselves further with the party.  The meta explanation is that Erika Ishii, known D&D romancer, is determined to smooch every member of the CR cast, and good for them, it’s what they deserve.

Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window: -the insane orange waiter -that he’s carrying his plates in the air like a strongman -the couple looks like this isn’t the first time he’s done this, but it’s easier to just let it happen at this point. -the sign says PASTA as if he’s screaming it like a frankenstein -but he’s holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses -there’s three wine glasses -one’s for him.

This makes me laugh to the point of tears every time I see it

i'm so happy they made up :-)

if dusk wasn’t faking their entire personality rn the whole ‘laudna was nice to me a few times, therefore i am picking up vibes and i am in love with her instantly’ is such a relatable vibe for the gays out there

“I may have miscalculated”

(via)

fake horse adventures

one horse here is really hogging the brain cell

REVEAL YOURSELF

That one horse

(orym): just because i’m gay doesn’t mean i don’t know how to please a women.

(orym): you buy them a dress with pockets.

I just want to say something: Matt Mercer made up the Calamity.

AABRIA 🤣