It's me, Zo, your favorite fiendcat. Click the link in my name to learn more about me (or don't, and let me be forever a mystery to you).

yo mama so ignorant and full of worldly desires she will never escape samsara

at my job we have to go through a training program that teaches us the library of congress classification system, and when i was first being trained my boss started to boot it up and she gave me a really anxious and guilty look and said “listen, i’m really sorry in advance, there’s nothing i can do about this, just…. just try to get through it” and i was like lol what’s she talking about and then the program loaded and i was greeted with a deliriously funny-looking photoshopped wizard with glowing eyes pointing at some intro message like “AH YES, JUST AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD… APPRENTICE, YOU COME AT A TIME OF MOST DIRE NEED… YOU MUST LEARN OUR WAYS” and my boss just looked at me helplessly and was like “i’m so sorry. it’s like two hours long.”

thankfully it wasn’t an elaborate fever dream and i have found screenshots

The ORC DJ blocks your path

The ORC DJ plays a LOWKEY VINTAGE HOUSE SET with your VINTAGE HOUSE VINYL

The ORC DJ finds the vibe MID!

The ORC DJ delivers a PUNISHING ROUNDHOUSE

You are DEAD

I need him so bad it’s unreal

is there a silly guy depot I can find this genre of man at

'Cause she's a brick. House.

She's mighty mighty, just letting it all h

ang out!

Being poor makes you so crazy. I've never been able to afford nice kitchen stuff, right? Well, my partner just got me my first mug that's microwave safe, and I've been microwaving everything in all of god's creation in that thing. Hang on a second.

I fucking hate my piece of shit phone. It's always suggesting these scary emojis, like, yeah, when I accidentally hit the emoji button, I wanted SCORPION MONKEY to show up. Thanks so much.

20 May 23

For your protection

sent a photo of my cast iron skillet to the gc with the caption 'i would marry her if she was human'

tiktok teen lgbts would not survive in the 80s and 90s when lesbians called gay guys fags lovingly and gay guys would call us dykes lovingly

now rebloggable. fuck with me

I think lip balm should be free

And lipgloss

And housing

i went to Mad At You Island and um. theres some british kids doing really scary shit to a pig head

new favorite tweet

(from the author of fight club)

Soda Pop: A highly carbonated soda drink. It can be used to restore 50 HP to a single Pokémon.

[ID: a photograph of two tiny bats clinging to the middle and index finger of a hand. End ID]