I have exactly one thing to say about shoplifting from large chains and it's this: if you're gonna do it then please take the whole product
Pov: you’re Zelda and he just could not sit still to wait for you to arrive at the airport.
Sometimes I’m a dirty old man and sometimes I’m my grandfather and sometimes I’m a vintage drag king and sometimes I’m a little old gay man and sometimes I’m a towering pillar of dyke anger and sometimes I’m somebody’s wife and sometimes I’m somebody’s husband but a woman and sometimes I’m someone who died long ago and sometimes I’m a house mother and sometimes I’m a house that’s on fire and sometimes I’m a captain and sometimes I’m a starving artist and sometimes I’m dying sometimes I’m my own mother
Im sorry but the mental image of someone's packer falling out of their pant leg is so funny to me. Hey king uh you dropped your dick
Imagine me dropping my dick and the having to look for it on all 4s like Velma searching for her glasses at the club
Joke's on you all my posts are flops. You'll never get me
Uh oh.
your brain is filled with eyes op
your posts are flops huh?? you know what else flops?? a dick to the ground
Anonymous asked:
What's your jacking off technique
The title "dollar tree diy" made me think this was a diy tutorial type video and not a sculptural masterpiece
Anonymous asked:
soxy i'm sorry but what the fuck does "crab rangoon is a food thats an animal" supposed to mean
i bet u feel so stupid rn. theyre grazing
literally nothing funnier than a newly born aquatic mammal realizing they've been cursed to live in water
me: *covered in scratch marks* i am still a powerful and respectable wizard, you know
my imp krongus: *doubtfully* yes, my lord
me: i did eventually kill the mouse with a needle for a sword
krongus: it’s just that it was so close, my lord
i dont trust bitches that can have a long day and then go home and make a full dinner bc yk who else could do that? hannibal lecter
when i was a kid I was really bad (or really good depending on your definition) at hidden object games. which is to say that I would not specifically search for the objects the book asked me to look for. no. that would make no sense. what i instead did was open a spreadsheet
i then proceeded to list every single object in the image in my excel spreadsheet, highlighting the objects the book asked me to find in red as i went. Then, by the end, not only had i found the objects, I had also found and categorized all of the other objects as well. This way, if anyone asked me to find any other objects in that image, i was fully prepared
on an unrelated note i was diagnosed as autistic before third grade
You used the letter a 46 times!!
And 555 letters, so the letter a is about 8.29%
The letter a is on average used about 8.2% of the time, which means you used it more than average!! :)
a-counter you are my best friend and greatest ally
