Sad But Still Rad

my worst fear is looking bad in a photo with a celebrity

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone

A friend was travelling through Laos and Vietnam and met this little fella

Walk in.

See this.

Wat do?

Depends, do you own a dog?

that feeling you get when you’re angry

anger

i want a butt so perfect that men cry about it

but the real question is has nemo found himself

SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”

I text back embarrassingly fast

or three hours later

there is no in between

now this is what i like to see… if i’m gonna buy some fancy new Strong Product i wanna see it beat the weaker version of itself into total useless garbage…… its called innovation and i’ve never been so happy to be a capitalist…

if anything should have a ask limit it should be my parents

do you ever just want to talk to one person very badly like talking to that one person is all that really matters and you would drop everything just to talk to them

"so ma’am, how would you like to pay today? cash or check?"

water is wet

the sun is hot

leaves are green

Republicans are white