I love seeing people go insane over their ugly little men like, I get it. I have an ugly little man too except he’s hot and beautiful and pretty

rarepairs r so funny because you'll be part of the rarepair group n you'll be like. okay but look at all this stuff that makes them make sense and from the outside you look like youre holding a conspiracy board with dots and string n everyone is like ohh wow.. okay.... umm.. if u say so.... but when youre IN the rarepair group youre like no listen look. its obvious. look at this. look. there are famous ships with less substance than this

lol

This is fucking hilarious

Control Panel For Twitter extension/addon also bypasses it. both of these are great for curating a much better twitter experience idk how people can use twitter raw. its like tumblr without xkit. please do yourself a favor AND tell elon to fuck himself and his silly rate limits

Ok extensions bypassing the rate limit probably mean the limit is enforced in the front end.

Oh my fucking God.

Twitter users will not survive the winter

What do they mean it’s impossible to have conversations there’s at least three different ways to do so here

"It's impossible to have conversations there" -person coming from a website where DM'ing is now paywalled behind Twitter Blue.

We are all desperately struggling to stop having half the conversations on here.

me after consuming a wonderful media: wow, can’t wait to read all the great fics!

ao3:

……… different fantasy races should be impacted differently by each other’s alcohol

no more if this “fine elvin wine” shit, I am going to personally write a fantasy setting in which every human knows that elf booze tastes and feels like fantasy la croix. there’s barely even a flavor, and you’d need to drink a few to even get tipsy.

meanwhile, every human with a lick of common sense knows that you need to plan accordingly if you’re going to be drinking dwarven liquor, because it hits you hard and fast and you’ll lose feeling in your legs faster than you thought was physically possible. the hangovers are the stuff of legend.

the flip side is that elves are an entire race of (comparative) lightweights, and a whole gaggle of teenange elves can get piss drunk passing around one bottle of fruity human wine

I think there’s some compatability among drinks brewed by reptilian races (dragonborn, lizardfolk, tortles, kobolds, etc) although you run into similar translation issues as mammalians, but there is absolutely no crossover. like if a drsgonborn and a dwarf in a (very cosmopolitan) tavern were to switch drinks it would be a nonstarter.

“this is basically just a capri sun,” the dragonborn says, disappointed.

“cool, I’m pretty sure I just drank actual paint thinner,” the dwarf says. “get me to a hospital.”

humans and halflings are probably the most compatible drinkers of any two races, although halflings find most human wines, beers, ciders, etc, a little too dry and bland for their liking. halfling alternatives are very sweet, which makes them a huge hit among the ‘I like alcohol but I don’t want it to taste like alcohol’ crowd

I think it would be very funny if being drunk was like… a relatively new cultural development for gnomes? there’s just something about their wacky gnomish constitution that prevented them coming by it naturally (traditionally they’re more into a variety of mushrooms and other recreational plants) but once they started mingling more with more alcohol-happy races they learned VERY quickly and started opening, basically, turbo-breweries that are basically one part distillery and one part wizard tower. VERY popular job for young alchemists trying to make some good money, and the reason why gnomes are known (among other things) for operating the craziest night clubs

here’s who I think should be able to get drunk but become sober at will:

1.) sufficiently powerful paladins and clerics

2.) aasimar [all of them]

2.) very very few tieflings. it’s not universal at all, but few tiefling traits are. I know 5e has really solidified them as horns + tails + inhuman skin color but we need to be making them weirder 

i am legit crying here

Twitter users will not survive the winter

What do they mean it’s impossible to have conversations there’s at least three different ways to do so here

"It's impossible to have conversations there" -person coming from a website where DM'ing is now paywalled behind Twitter Blue.

Twitter users will not survive the winter

If your timeline is slow just follow more people??? Like you would on any website????????

A friend of mine bought a house that hasn't been updated all that much since it was built in the 1950s, and it still has one light switch that's 125% the size of modern ones and you have to push it really hard and instead of a little click it goes THUNK when the lights go on and it's SO SATISFYING.

me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”

coworker: “damn dude was preordering”

other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:

—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans

—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine

—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny

—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me

— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”

Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly

have a little muriel today

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!

hope is a skill

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

favourite additions

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

Cackling.

In case the original goes away:

Text version:

Washington State Department of Natural resources tweets:

(Falling to my knees, begging, pleading)

Please.

Folks, seriously.

PLEASE.

Do not - and I can’t emphasize this enough - set the state on fire this weekend.

Fire danger is abnormally high this holiday weekend.

URGING you to consider firework alternatives:

- screaming “bang! boom!” at the sky

- dropping a stack of large books on the floor

- wrapping a toga around a candle

- play America the Beautiful while combining Coke and Mentos

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

I think the Catholic church officially ruled that gluten-free communion wafers don’t count ://// godspeed OP’s grandma she is subverting the Pope

my anglican grandma would kill the pope with hammers i can tell you that much

These poses are hanging around

Need more poses? Check out my hub for all my links, socials, and resources!

every time a new clip/promo pic is released I am legally required to draw fanart of it