What?

me: *sees a fat cat*

me, in tears: you are so fucking big i love you…

I'm late to the paleontology drama but my god this is so funny

life hack: don’t join tumblr

i’mgonna cry 

I know it’s kind of suggesting it but this is exactly why businessmen (people) should not be politicians. Running a country is to benefit the people running a business is to benefit shareholders. Their “skills” are not interchangeable

“So we got a new rug…. our cat dosen’t approve lmaoooooo”

good evening does anyone remember that one disney channel movie where a family wins an entire house that’s artificially intelligent like Siri but as the movie progresses the house becomes more and more strict and obsessive and eventually it holds the family hostage

nope how was your day today?

very good! it was raining and there was a nice slug on the pavement

wow!! right on the pavement?

right on the pavement!

It was called Smart House

Penguins getting weighed.

THE LITTLE HOPS

Caretaker: God booooy! :)

Penguin: M̶̡̬̖͔̖͋̆o̶̫̝̩̖̟̰͚̞͋t̸̨̯̘͖̎͆͊͊̈́̽̐ͅͅh̷͚͂͠ẻ̷͇̝̳̄̐́̐̍̍̀͝r̶̢̻͔̦̹͎͖͈̀͜ ̸̻̳̦̩͎̉͂ͅg̸̛̗͓͖̠͇̩ǐ̶̧͈̣̇́̈̀̑̉̆͘v̸̢̛͍̻̜̭̇͊̌̐̏̅̂ͅe̵͙͐̕ ̸̳̭͓̱̍m̶͉͚͍̺̳̊͐̾̂̚ę̶̢̠̲̫͇̠̮̙̅̐͝ͅ ̵̲̙͚͐̒̚ͅt̵̜̣̙̜͍̀̓̿͆̈́͂̅̀͝ĥ̷̢̖̞̼̝̞͍̠̐̈́̒̊́e̸̥͒ ̶͓͓̂̎̀̑́t̵̛̯͓͚̜̪̩̺͖́̄͐̋́r̶̢̹̞͔̲̘̭̠̖̉̄͋̓͌͘͝ȩ̸̨̼̺̻̭͚̾̉͐̂̄͆̇a̵̭̼͙̼̜̋͝t̴͔̱̯̥̙͇̬̮̓͘ͅs̸̮̖̟̝͔͇̣͑̈́̃

this feels like a scene from a nightmare i had when i was like five years old or something

your crimes are known. the frog council sits in judgement.

I opened Tumblr and almost screamed

the guilt has hold of you. confess

Still fucks me up that the Da Vinky dudes are proffessional tag team wrestlers and one of their common spots is just switching out without tagging while the ref is distracted cause they’re identical twins.