you gotta include this photo
cumpriest
ağlıycam
This is it. The internet has come full circle. You can all go home now. We’re done.
DM: Time to get out the Monster Manual, or as some people like to call it: the Waifu Catalogue.
Me: WHAT.
Sometimes I smash or pass the whole book
What the fuck guys
I like to smash or pass monsters in DnD and Pathfinder books.
BugBears are legit.
can we not
cranky-witch-ladygaia
Smash or pass
Heh… that depends… what’s on the list
dogs
there are dogs on that list
you wanna fuck a dog
wait
this is tumblr
don’t answer that
dogs? pass.
Liches tho……. ;)))
That’s actually not a terrible entry to thirst after. I mean, you could technically count it as necrophilia, but its consensual necrophilia, so you do you.
What the fuck
Of all the reblogs and additions to this post, this is the one you’re shocked by?
Consensual necrophilia is not a phrase I thought I’d hear. Then again this is tumblr, so maybe that’s on me
Hot take: the term consensual necrophilia also applies to vampires, since they’re undead creatures. Wanna fuck Strahd? You’re in the same boat with the lich fuckers.
However, what I think the real treasure we’re all sleeping on is liches….in love. Just immortal wizard gals being pals.
I am absolutely here for the immortal undead lesbians
IS IT STILL NECROPHILIA IF YOU’RE DEAD TOO??
I don’t think so?
hallelujahmomentz
Ok next topic is a dragon and a human beastiality for the dragon?
both are sentient, so its just interspecies sex.
…I am now reminded of that argument I got into about whether or not a half-dragon would have a cloaca.
This post is an entire dungeon of bad decisions at this point
I think you mean legendary decisions
Legendary for being bad
This is not what i expected when i started this blog
To be fair, i wasnt expecting a whole lot when i started this blog in 2014
But it definitely didnt include 10k notes of thirsty monsterfuckers
cephalon-jaunde
11 approaching 12 thousand
Fuck you’re right
drizzlearcher
ok but can we just talk about abberations cuz like they’re intelligent and adults but their minds are inscrutable to humans. so like does that mean you can consent to sex with them? cuz you’re on wayyyy different levels of intelligence? but also they’re an adult with the capacity to give and understand consent? but could a normal sentient’s mind comprehend consenting to sex with them? help me out here i’m confused.
If both parties are sentient, its just interspecies sex, stop trying to overcomplicate things. Just because one species is better at calculus does not complicate the less intelligent species’ capacity for consent.
Can I just snuggle a clan of kobolds? No porking, just snuggles.
My friend, I would literally rather die than tell someone they can’t get some consensual snuggling
on the other hand what about plants.
Are they capable of meaningful consent?
Actually, are you fucking the plants, or are you harvesting them to use as aphrodisiacs? Because most plants and plant-like entities in the bestiary are gonna fuck you up regardless of which you choose.
How have all you fucks passed on the hot devil women???
Because theres no debate on them; if you’re sexually attracted to women or other feminine entities, you’re going to fuck the succubus.
just-siva-thoughts
Imagine walking into a dungeon and tripping on the first step then breaking every individual bone in your body on the way down the obscenely large staircase that’s probably a hamfisted metaphor to do with descents and all that crap
Yeah that’s what this feels like
@nurgletwh how do you think i feel
With your help we can get it to 50k!
Should I blaze this post? It would be really funny if I blazed this post.
Should I blaze this post?
It would be really funny
if I blazed this post.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
hey there buddy pal friendo, how ya feeling with the 30k? I think we can get it to 50k, maybe even 1m
Then I would really be tumblr famous
And I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing
I’m pretty sure we should do this, and maybe get @itsapmseymour on board with the plan
@meepmoopmaap Do you want me to bring up my theories on smurf reproduction? Because I will bring up my theories on smurf reproduction, and that is absolutely a threat.
DO IT COWARD
Alright, fuckers, you asked for it.
So, y'all know how clown fish are all born with dormant female reproductive organs? And the biggest one in the school is the dominant female, and if she dies, the biggest male transitions to take her place?
Well, according to my theory, smurfs are an egg-laying species, with genetics predisposing them towards incest, like several species of insect. You would also presume that the dominant female in this theory is Smurfette. You would be wrong.
Smurfette is an artificial smurf created by Gargamel, the smurfs’ only real natural predator.
As an aside, Gargamel is a shit-ass predator, considering there’s 100 fucking smurfs in the population. Clown fish schools max out at 8. Presuming that smurfs lay eggs in a “quantity over quality” reproductive strategy, I’m estimating at least 75% of the smurf population are the children of the current dominant female and adult males.
Back to the dominant female. It is not Smurfette. It is clearly Papa Smurf. I originally presumed that when he dies, his largest son will transition to take his place, but then I learned that there is a natural-born female smurf who was added to canon relatively recently, named Sassette. Either Sassette is trans, or the next generation already has their dominant female. Or both. Technically, it could be both.
Now, for those of you crying “But Papa Smurf is a guy! He can’t be the dominant female!” Please understand that A) gender is a construct, and also B) that in a sapient species where everyone is born with the potential to be the mother of the entire local population, gender is a fucking construct.
Granny Smurf is the dominant female of another smurf population, and/or Papa Smurf’s mother, and/or she’s trans, take your pick.
Also, due to Gargamel’s total inability to keep his local smurf population under control, because 100 individuals is an insanely high population count for a species with the above reproductive strategy, the smurfs will do to their local ecology what the deer did to Yellowstone National Park before we reintroduced wolves. For those of you who don’t know what happened to Yellowstone, think Dust Bowl.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
P.S: In case you were wondering, no, I did not grow up with the smurfs. I learned everything I know about them through cultural osmosis and roughly 10 minutes of googling while at work, and they’ve blocked most websites on our machines, so a lot of this was based off the summaries Google provides on the results page. My knowledge of Gargamel, Smurfette’s origins, and the existence of Sassette and Granny Smurf are based on a screenshot of Smurfette’s Wiki page a friend sent me in retaliation for subjecting them to this theory.
If you have suggestions on how this theory can be improved (read: made more cursed) please reblog this post with your ideas!
Note: That one theory about smurfs being dead children doesn’t count. It’s not a reproductive strategy, it’s not world-building, it’s just an incredibly half-assed urban legend theorizing the reason why the story of the smurfs was created, and it doesn’t track with the fact that the smurfs are the well-documented creation of one Belgian dude in the 1950s, and not a folklore creature that existed before then.
Writer: On one hand, I’m traumatized to a minor amount due to knowing more than enough biology for all of this to make perfect, horrific, sense. On the other hand, now you’ve got me wanting to ask you out on a date because goddamn, the endless interesting rambling we could get up to. We’d have the whole restaurant buying our silence
Thats very sweet of you, but I’m aromantic and sex-repulsed ace. Ironic, I know!
But we can absolutely be friends! You’ve certainly been following and interacting with my blog long enough. If you join my discord server, we could ramble all we like!
Hey guys, Happy Holidays I know I’m not that popular on this site but I’d like to ask a favor. So I’m living at home and not the best circumstances. My stepmother really hates me and keeps threating me with homelessness. It’s really scary to know that she keeps on doing this knowing that there’s nowhere else for me to stay. She knows I can’t afford to rent my own place right now.
She repeatedly calls me names and slurs as well as putting all the blame on me and my other siblings. Her kids, in her mind, are infallible. If they do any wrong she denies and places the blame on others. The only time she punishes them is when they talk back and tgats when she smacks them in the face. She has threatened to hit me and has hit me and my siblings before. She did it just simply because I corrected her on something she got wrong. My dad is blinded by the relationship because he was very lonely before they started dating. He’s latched onto the relationship out of fear of being alone. She also treats him like shit but he’s too afraid to leave He refuses to take to listen to reason. I have even shown him text and he’s doesn’t give a shit.
I have added a couple of our text conversations to this post to show y'all. I am a full time college student who also works 40+ hours a week. Still however I am only 19 with no credit because credit card companies charge an insane fee. So I am unable to afford a place to stay right now. I’m on break from school for the holidays and I’ve been working as many hours as I possibly can to try to earn some money to go to a safer place for me to live. If any of y'all are willing to help me afford a place to live not even a nice place just a place that’s not here. The emotional manipulation and gaslighting that I go through at this house has cause suicidal intentions in me
Where I live where it’s not very expensive to rent in certain places but I do need help on it as well as all the extra stuff that I have to buy I only make about 1200 a month and I really need help I’ve included my PayPal if you would like to donate anything that would be really nice if not please just for blog and help get this out there. If you want a service done like I write in the free time that I have if you want to story you can commission me.
At this point there’s no excuse for a baby boomer to be technologically incompetent anymore. It’s just willful ignorance, this shit is not fucking hard
unionhack
“why is it asking for a password” because you’re logging into something martha, that’s how it’s been for the last 20 fucking years
“how do i do [x] can you show me” no dale you can Google it like the rest of us. it requires one exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works. your generation was smart enough to cause a total economic collapse out of malice but not smart enough to type in a few words I guess
“im just not tech savvy” no you just refuse to learn because like in most things you are stuck in your ways
unionhack
the worst part is after you help an old fuck with some sort of tech bullshit 9 times out of 10 they’ll give you some kind of bullshit passive aggressive thank-you
like “oh i guess you young people have to know something about those phones you’re always on, huh?”
give me a fucking break gretchen i have depression from living in the economy you created and my phone is more of a reprieve than dealing with your stubborn inconsiderate ass
unionhack
AND ANOTHER THING that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely fuck things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened
what do you mean you set your phone to japanese on accident, phil? there’s like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there
“i think it’s because i got a virus” no greg it’s not a virus, the only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated grandchildren
unionhack
i just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can’t figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions in front of them
Idea: Nat 1s, don’t have to be a fail, (I mean they are, but lemme explain)
So like let’s say your rolling to intimidate, you roll a one, as a dm, you can say “well, they are so unintimidted in the slightest, that they let you pass” or “they’re so unintimidted, they don’t even wanna fight you”, just something to add some spice to your life
milkimei
you roll a nat 1 on intimidate and the enemy goes
‘‘oh, actually… are you alright? i don’t really want to hurt you, you… you need a lift home or something?‘‘
the-homebrew-hoard
LMAO
There’s a concept in DMing called ‘failing up.’* In essence, its about making NAt 1s more than just about ‘well you failed’ in such a way as the momentum of the story stops dead. Let’s say a thief, with proficency and levels and lots of skills, fails to pick a lock - a nat 1. The lock cannot be picked, the door cannot be opened, the narrative and momentum stops dead as the aprty has to stand around and discuss what happens next. In failing up, however, the DM changes the parametres so that a nat 1 becomes less about failure and more ‘success with consequences’ (similar to what Monster Of The Week has as a built-in mechanic’). The thief rolls a nat 1 - he picks the lock, but the lock breaks loudly enough to alert the guards, and sudden this stealth mission is turning pear-shaped. The fighter rolls a nat 1: he moves the heavy boulder, but he throws his back out, and the party has no time to stop and rest - for the next while he’s going to be disadvantaged on a lot of checks. The wizard rolls a nat 1 on their arcana - they know enough to read the spell, but not enough to pick-up the curse built into the text, and so on. Failure should not be dead-end, narratively. *Okay, the exact name escapes me for the moment and I’m having a damned hard time figuring out if my source was Matt Coville or The Angry GM or someone else, but failing up works just as well.
The concept of taking failures - even if it isn’t a nat 1 - and making them more than just “that didn’t work” i think is a huge improvement to the quality of games. It’s the next big thing I’m trying to tackle in my own GMing.
It’s not because I don’t want to allow my players to fail - I do, but if the only way to kove the story forward is ti succeed then failures don’t do a service to the game. Plus some failures do not translate properly to the players and they’ll continue to try and find other ways to get what they were trying for (if they roll extremely poorly to investigate a room in a dungeon for potential hazards, telling them they don’t see anything wrong doesn’t ACTUALLY convey to the players the fact that their CHARACTER would believe they have sufficiently searched the room and it is safe.)
Ways to handle failures that I think service both the game and the players better are
- Failures that bring unintended benefits (you slide down the cliff you were attempting to climb, and catch yourself on the branch of a decently valuable plant. If you manage to gather some of this branch you could sell it for a nice sum)
- Succeed with consequences (you successfully intimidate the leader of the bandits in letting you pass, but his followers get angry at you for your insolence and ransack you when you next make camp)
- Succeed at something unrelated to your intent (you look the priest over to discern if he’s lying about the werewolves, and are distracted by the edge of a dark, coiling tattoo just barely visible at the collar of his robes)
- Think you succeed, but have instead failed in an unexpected way (you hear a satisfying click as the last tumbler of the lock falls into place. As you stand up and grab the door knob the floor below you snaps open and you fall into a pit)
- Succeed, but so not how you wanted (you attempt to seduce the inn keeper for some free rooms, and in pretty he lets you stay for free in the room his wife and kids are in because “you seem lonely son… I know what that’s like. Why don’t you stay with my family tonight, yeah?”)
- Failure that creates a new problem - allowing another player to take the lead (you hear a strange chime as you wirk the tumblers of the luck, and suddenly a magical barrier ripples across the door as you trigger a secondary magical lock mechanism)
This is all I can think of off the top of my head
DA:I is on sale for $5
Until January 11th, Dragon Age Inquisition is on sale on Origin for $4.99 USD
The Deluxe edition is 7.49 USD and the Game of the Year Edition (includes the DLCs, including Trespasser) is 9.99
If you’ve wanted to play it but couldn’t afford a 20-40 dollar game, now is a good time to save your money and get it
Edit: Both DA:O and DA2 are both on sale for $5 each. DA:O Awakening is currently on sale for $6.66. Not kidding.
Scam Alert - Commissioning Artists Beware
Artists, there’s a scam going around on Twitter at the minute, and you never know, someone might try it over here.
This guy is messaging commissioning artists and attempting to gain access to their PayPal by pretending to need a code to pay the bill. Obviously we all know that’s bull, but if someone isn’t paying attention, is unfamiliar with PayPal commissions as a whole, or is just desperate enough for that commission money? They might fall for it. OP’s tweet here.
PayPal will not require a code for someone to complete payment.
It’s just not how it works, I know it, you know it, the scammer knows it. But he’s gambling on the potential that someone (and that someone is mostly likely to be a young, new artist without much commission experience under their belt, let’s be honest) doesn’t know it. Let’s make sure everyone does. So if you’d be so kind, please boost the everliving hell out of this. Don’t let anyone fall prey to this shady, shady individual, either here or on twitter or anywhere else.
Drawing Weiss with her high heels (nsfw ver. on twitter: @bluefield07)
More versions (futa, trap), hi-res are available on my Patreon!
Still not done with the server…
I had no time the whole week to properly make the discord server, but anyway, here it is: https://discord.gg/v6VHVBt
Leave your suggestions about the server in the specific Suggestion channel
The server is almost done 👌🏻
So as you know Tumblr is coming for us.
cluestripes:
I’m gonna be among the unfortunates, so I’m actually just going to try and keep this blog up for ecchi content (I’ll have to examine the ‘new policy’ to make sure I can do even THAT, but for now, please make sure you find me in other places so you can keep seeing what I draw :( There’s so many of you, and I’ll miss you dearly if you don’t.
🌟 = very active!!
Twitter [ personal / sfw / light nsfw] 🌟
Furaffinity [ all nsfw / XXX ] 🌟
Patreon [ not all art, but nsfw / XXX ] 🌟
Newgrounds? [ never used before but nsfw / XXX? ]
dA [it’s been inactive, but I might have to return there for sfw / light nsfw]
Now as I said, I WILL TRY to stay on here so I can keep using my personal blog and SFW/general art blog, which is:
thatdogclue!! [ sfw / general drawings ] 🌟
now after you’ve folllowed me wherever, be aware:
I intend on nuking almost ALL adult drawings as the reckoning draws near.
I don’t want to have this blog deleted entirely. Please feel free to save whatever drawings you particularly like- do not reupload them or whatever, but yeah. Prepare yourselves.
^^^^ WELL AS YOU CAN SEE they shit the bed so hey don’t forget! ^^^^^
Where i can finding u on Twitter or other social media?
here here!
Main
NSFW ( 18+ )
If you need to a safe place to view and post RWBY porn
r/RWBYNSFW has helped to support this blog in the past, so please join their subreddit and Discord server:
- Palette
