Boss up. Keep your finances stable. Surround yourself with positive people and healthy relationships. That’s the best glow up you can ever achieve.
I’m very pro-rereading books you loved as a child at different stages in your life
I'm finally linking things together, now that I'm dealing and getting answers. A recent thing is how most with ptsd will go through a trigger without even realizing and just feel the obsessive need to CLEAN or ORGANIZE something. To DO something. To get out, escape. To do something meaningful, worthwhile, to not be helpless or useless. To occupy the mind and try and fix what cannot be fixed. So they fix something else. It's just.. An interesting discovery. Explains a lot.
It's also nice to have people make you sit and relax, to be there when you're breaking and not let you fall, to make you take a bath or read or play your favourite video games with you. To remind you you're safe and don't need to compensate or fix anything. That you have worth and don't need to go to extreme measures to do something productive. To just relax and be you.
what some of y'all think ptsd is: oh no i had a wittle nightmare someone will hug me and everything will be better forever i’m instantly healed by this shippable otp lovefest and i have no other ptsd symptoms because i am thin and cute / war is hard war is hell the only valid trauma is from veterans i am so so strong and stoic and vigilant and all my flashbacks are bombs going off or guns and blood no other ptsd is as ptsd as mine
what it’s actually like: what the hell even caused my ptsd i can’t remember? what happened to me? i haven’t showered in 6 days and my nightmares literally chain me to my bed or i’m scared to sleep at night, even with a partner or cuddling a pet i still get nightmares that are completely unrelated to my trauma what was i even doing just now? what happened yesterday? feeling so numb for weeks that when you finally cry it never lasts as long as you need it to. did this person hurt me and i can’t remember or is this just my trust issues? heart pounding at the grocery store, in bed, while eating, when i wake up can’t concentrate for shit or paranoid cleaning for 5 hours straight. so many blank periods…wonder which trauma this trigger is from! gee wish i could fucking remember but my martyr brain wants to protect me, so how the fuck am i gonna work through this in therapy, not to mention when trauma therapists are rare and few, let alone one that works with my insurance or me personally. another nightmare regarding something that didn’t even happen? or did it? high alert and hostile because did it happen and i can’t trust even my own memories? i’m so tired but can’t/don’t want to sleep
fanfic writers/content creators romanticizing ptsd, please eat a mile of shit served hot. stay out of the ptsd and recovery tags.
Nobody really mentions the insane amount of rage born from injustice of living with abusive parents, these are people who insult you, tell you over and over again you’re good for nothing, lazy, disgusting, worthless, burden, these are people who throw you into pits of despair and terror, they isolate you and force you to depend on them and them alone, to go thru all the misery of being abused and mistreated on your own, and you, are forced to, obey them??? You’re forced to show respect, for that? You’re forced to do this if you want to survive?! You have to do this each and every day over and over again, like they’re not monsters but respectable parents?
This is driving me absolutely insane with rage, monsters who use violence and abuse to relieve their sick urges on your child body and soul deserve absolutely no respect or obedience, they deserve to be shown they’re absolute trash and be flushed down the toilet, but instead, you’re forced to act as if they’re your masters, you’re forced to bow your head down to them, to do as you’re told, and all while keeping a respectful attitude and keeping your mouth shut, just what fucking human being could go thru this without going insane? Who could bear this without developing severe issues with justice, trust, faith, belief in any higher good or any hope in life at all?
This is why we end up so wildly dissociated from our anger and we end up being forced to direct it at ourselves and hurt ourselves, because living like this is not endurable. It’s absolutely indurable amount of injustice. This would crush anyone’s spirit. This entire circus needs to stop. I don’t want see anyone else defending parent’s right to issue orders, to control or “discipline” their children because there are zero good consequences from that, there is only defending and normalizing abuse and letting us know that we deserve to live in this hell, that it’s happening everywhere, and there’s no way out. Parents are not owners or masters, they’re people, and we’re people. Anything that wouldn’t be allowed between two equal strangers should not be allowed between a parent and a child.
Abusive parents will trauma-condition you to obey them, they will punish your every healthy instinct, every independent thought and every resistance to their authority to the point where they fuck with your survival instincts and force you to fear for your life if you don’t do as you’re told.
Then when you come down with ptsd they have the nerve to say “You got too affected by it.”
They made sure you were extremely affected by it when they were doing it. They were the ones who wouldn’t stop until you were unable to do anything but to be controlled by them if you wanted to survive. Do you know what kind of extreme torture will get a person to obey you unconditionally? It means keeping a person in death fear.
You being affected by it so much that you couldn’t be a human being but their property was the point of it. They’re perpetrators of a torture crime. They do not get to have a say in what your reaction to it means. You’re a human being and they had no right to hurt you whatsoever. They do not get to turn around and say “Oh, actually, we wanted to get different things from torturing you, and being held responsible for it is not one of them.”
