vulcanic enterprise

James T. Kirk:

-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”

Jean-Luc Picard:

-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead

And yet people still manage to get it backwards???

I think it’s a problem of First Officer, really.

Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*  

Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.  

* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.

The Federation is a confusing place.

Damnit maybe I’ll try Star Trek

A Betazoid character who isn't in a nurturing profession, but is a tactical officer.

"Captain, I sense they know they're about to get their asses handed to them"

Also, a Klingon character who is in a nuturing profession instead of tactical.

"You are a true child of Kahless for confronting your fears and I am honoured to have helped you."

Klingon therapist: the battle against mental illness cannot be won decisively. It is a long campaign against an enemy who never tires, whose forces swell to twice their size whenever you look away. Battle against a foe of such magnitude, who occupies your very mind… every moment you survive is a triumph against all odds. There is no more honorable combat.

...I love this.

Tribbles have picked the wrong man to mess with

[[*TNG theme song plays* *Patrick Stewart runs outside and shouts* YOU MOTHERFCKERS ARE GONNA KILL ALL MY LILIES *shoots guns twice* PEST CONTROL! *TNG theme song*]]

Best. Thing. Ever.

I can’t express how to ecstatic I am to find this video again in the depths of tumblr. It might be one of my favourite posts

I love the idea of Spock being super queer, highly expressive and very emotional from a Vulcan view point. Like...

What humans see:

What Vulcans see:

Vulcans seeing Kirk as a version of Gritty seems incredibly accurate, too.

You come to look for a king… 

Nothing you can say can convince me that Data did not later take Spot to the holodeck and programmed the computer to create a field with long grass and plenty of mice.  He watched his kitty have the time of her life hunting holographic mice.  He was perplexed by the evolutionary significance of the pre-pounce butt wiggle and wrote terrible poetry about it.  Upon his next poetry reading, Troi cried trying not to laugh and Data was pleased his poetry had finally elicited an emotional reaction.

Well this is canon now.

Every time someone tells Worf about Greek Mythology he’s just like “The humans know where Zeus lives. Why do they simply not raid Olympus and slay him for his misdeeds”

YES

“If a god were to hypnotise my wife into having sex with a bull and giving birth to a Bull Child I would kill that god in no uncertain terms

RIP to King Minos but I’m different”

I found this thing on Facebook… and I fell down the Humans Are Weird hole yet again. 😅 (I first did before I even started my blog - Pinterest is sooo full of these posts! And I keep falling down it from time to time, when I discover something new)

Some mind-reading device that can take intent into account?

It may be possible to set the device to the intended language, but this also raises the question of where “a language” begins and ends. Is AAVE translated differently than standard American English? Does the translator know the difference between Castellano and Catalan and French? If it can be used to read, how does it differentiate between Chinese and Japanese?

It’s that time of the year again :)

Lol this made me laugh so much. I want it on repeat this Christmas.

It’s just so fucking wholesome?

what a fucking drama queen

Should have known better than to tell ‘Don’t do the thing’ to Jimmy. :_D x(sequel) sorta

First meeting, for @spirkonbaby‘s Valentine challenge. <3

I can’t get enough of first meeting kid fics with them and there’s simply not enough of those (not like it could ever be enough)lol. 

mccoy: [talking]

spock: the captain’s eyes look especially blue today

i'm surprised he could see them through all the lens flare

some good old fashioned space husbands~

“Kirk’s love of his career…”

“…and devotion to his ship…”

“…made it difficult for him to carry on a long-term relationship with a woman”

……..

"I've never fallen from quite this high. Falling into your ocean eyes."

"Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night"

thinking about how klingon courting works by the female roaring and throwing heavy objects and the male reading love poetry

gay klingons:

lesbian klingons:

Do gay Klingons ever get frustrated/dejected because their gentleman caller hasn’t so much as kicked a pebble their way or uttered the slightest growl?

Do questioning Klingons ever show their crush their poetry, only to have their crush assume that he’s helping them proofread or something?

Is there ever an issue where a lesbian Klingon tries very awkwardly to recite poetry to her lady love? 

Or instances where two lesbians are basically beating the shit out of each other and both thinking “I know she thinks this is just a regular old gal fight, but no, seriously, I’m trying to declare my intentions here”?

Are there euphemisms for LGBT Klingons? “Don’t try to win her over, Riker. She reads poetry.” 

This one of the best things I’ve ever read

Bisexual Klingons:

REBLOGGING FOR BI KLINGON COURTSHIP POETRY CHUCKING

that was the day dr mccoy learned that hands are erogenous zones for vulcans

Star Trek: the Alternate Original Series