"knight posting" this and "guard posting" that. i'm the princess's trusted handmaid who provides her advice and comfort in my soothing, low-class style. i am saying things like "if you don't mind me speaking out of turn, my lady..." and sharing fairy tales and lullabies my sad mother taught me. also i am fucking the jester.

op what’s up with the evil duke or maybe dragon is the princess gonna be ok??

look ALL i know is that the princess asked me to cover for her while she escaped with the handsome rogue (who bares a striking resemblance to the lost prince of our neighboring kingdom, but i digress) and now the duke (my lady's betrothed) has put out a bounty for a band of misfits traversing the country slaying beasts and the like, but that's LITERALLY none of my business, on account of i have to mend the hem on all these dresses

….yeah probably

look i would NEVER speak ill of Duke Drakonen or his trusted advisor, some kind of nasty imp thing named Slitherspit. he's always been VERY polite to me and NOT in a creepy way.

maybe that's YOUR bias assuming the jester is a man. also the handsome rogue is bi-curious.

I thought the handsome rogue was a trans woman?

what if you got on a plane and it started going down the run way and started speeding up and then it turned into the interstate and just started driving to your destination

I don't know if it is funnier to imagine it driving very quickly or just at regular car speed

This is exactly why this breed is not meant for a suburban backyard (VIA)

one of the cooler parts of growing up is realizing that you were being incessantly lied to throughout highschool and that fat gay people are not only capable of being desired, but are actively and often voraciously lusted after

I've said this before but Why do people position "themes and analysis" and "shipping" as mutually exclusive opposites. maybe I find two characters thematically interesting and want them to analytically fuck about it.

I love Wen Ning so much because Wei Wuxian could literally say any bullshit and WN would be like “absolutely, I agree 100%!” and Wen Qing would immediately debunk WWX’s bullshit and WN would be like “absolutely, I agree 100%!”

Good job, you beat me!  Goodbye, Edward Elric!

cmon bro let’s hang out I promise I won’t moan if you pet me again hahaa

yes!! yippee!!!!!

Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours

...

hes an old man to YOU to me hes a beautiful young maiden. and also an old man

cats are alayws like could you kiss me on my little head please? [0.2 seconds without response] okay. time for punching to death then

that specific brand of vampire media that’s like “you’re a late 90s-early 00s vampire in a leather jacket and sunglasses in some sleazy underground goth club that’s playing electro industrial/aggrotech/goth rock music” ruined me on all other vamp media, I too want to be a vampire in a leather jacket & sunglasses in some sleazy underground goth club that’s playing electro industrial/aggrotech/goth rock music

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

i think it should have been like this

the polycule is in shambles..

this is killing me

if im to be completely honest i think OP deserved this and worse for answering the phone in a public restroom. the pooping guy shouldve opened the stall window to talk to him like theyre married. and lit a cigarette

door.

please excuse my hater moment but i hate when people see two characters that have the most insane dynamic and they’re like but what if it was wholesome :) okay well what if they fucked nasty style and tried to kill each other all the time also

hhhough barbie movie thoughts…

i don’t think the “im going to see my gynecologist” line isn’t only just for us to know that barbie is fully human. the scene of her in the real world for a second (at least to me) seemed to imply barbie was getting some sort of dream job and found her purpose. but no. she’s just going to see a gynecologist. but the way she is so EXCITED… the way she’s taking the joy in this mundane thing that woman go through… the barbie movie is about enjoying just being ALIVE