Nog: im ambidextrous
Rom: thats cool son love who you love
Tom: starting to realize my life is just a cringe compilation....
B'elanna: (sobbing) i don't understand what you're saying
Bones: I need you to keep an eye on Kirk for me
Scotty: He’ll be fine! He’s the captain after all!
Bones: That’s just what he’s called. It doesn’t mean he actually knows what he’s doing
Beckett: Do you believe in conspiracy theories?
Tendi: No
Beckett: Would you like to start one?
Tendi: Absolutely
Alien of the week: Your days are numbered. Picard: yeah, it's called a star date
Freeman: We have an enemy and I want a name and a severed head that answers to that name, or would if it could still talk.
Chakotay: I would never say, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I hate her. It’s just not true. Chakotay: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.
Dukat: Chairs!? You have chairs on the station? Sisko: … yes? Dukat: Chairs leads to lasyness and insobordinence! Back in my time the bajoren workeres sat on spikes! Sisko: What about you? Dukat (becoming enraged): I sat on the workers! Two spikes would have been an extravagance!
Beckett: *screeches like a pterodactyl*
Boimler, alarmed: Is she okay? What the fuck?
Freeman: She’s fine. That’s just how she deals with frustration.
Tom: Before you say no -
Janeway: No.
Tom: But I haven’t even told you yet!
Janeway: I’m sticking with no.
Spock: Did you get me bees again?
Bones, from a distance: Just open it!
O'brien: Hey do you have any shaving cream?
Bashir: No I don't like how it taste.
O'brien: You eat shaving cream?
Bashir: No why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?
Sisko: It's funny, I just realized something... How much you're like Ahab. You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology.
Dukat: are you coming on to me?
Harry, at litrally any point in voyager: You ever have those days where you’re like “this might as well happen. Adult life is already so god damn weird”?
Guinan: I replicated you a birthday cake
Picard: But it's not my birthday
Guinan: The cake won't know that
Nog: Do dragons fart fire? Bashir: I don't know. Nog: I thought you were supposed to be a genius
Chakotay, about janeway: Listen, I know she is unhinged, responsible for multiple atrocities, and a danger to herself and others. But have you ever considered that she is small, sad, and I love her.
Uhura: Would you slap your sibling for $1.5 million credit?
Spock: It would merely require a bowl of polmlek soup
Boimler: well, well, well... if it isn't my old friend: the dawning realization that i fucked up bad