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This Is Me.

@viviidellreyy

We were one, but now it's only me.😒
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Happy never after

Saying goodbye to a past lover. He is almost like a phantom now, just something you sugarcoat to make sweet because he wouldn't of been on his own. The perfect picture a photographer of 5 years takes. The first living breath a new born baby takes, weird how all these things are associated with him. They are, if he is experiencing them with his significant other, the one who's social media you spend hours on, just searching for some flaw to find, but you end up finding none. The girl you know he was dreaming of while sleeping next to you, while you brushed off hearing her name as he slept. It's been almost 5 years, and the Sunday post arrives and you know that this delivery is like no other, You finally develop the courage to see what you're fussing over, and you regret it immediately. "We'd be delighted to have you at our wedding", you read that sentence over and over again, until it eventually begins to sink deep into your skin, and consume you whole. You end up not going to the wedding, but he ends up at your doorstep. -V-

The guy I'm with now

The guy I'm with now. Yes he makes me laugh , and yes he makes me feel things I haven't in a long time. But most importantly I like the way his eyes light up every time I mention the word 'us', or how ever lasting his smirks are. Or how when he gets shy or embarrassed he has these hysterical laughing fits, which makes me love every part of him even more , I don't know how much greater my love for him can get. We both enjoy each other's company and never run out of things to say,

WITH HERRRRR

Do you think of me when you can't sleep ? I hope you do. I hope when your room is filled with darkness , you think of how I was in the empty space you lay next to now. How my hair used to tickle your arms and how frustrated you used to get when finding my bobbins or bobby-pins in the morning after I was long gone. I wonder if you kept them or still find a few that were left behind. This new girl , Does she make you mad like I used to ? Does she crease your sheets like we used to ? Maybe , maybe not. I've been looking all night for a taste of you, but knowing that the after taste is never sweet, made me realise you're better of with her.

datragic-poet
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datragic-poet
Dear you, I hope this letter finds you well, I know I know- I’m still a hopeless romantic who still believes letters are much more beautiful than text messages I hope that reminds you of how much you know me inside and how your heart still remembers my not-so-believable beliefs I’m asking you to take this letter somewhere you feel safe and read every letter with an open heart I’m sorry, I hate to barge in into your world out of nowhere, it’s been two years I know, But I hope you smile reading my name, I hope it offers you ten seconds of the vision of my laughter and the sound of my voice Because every time I remember yours my heart lights up in warmth and my whole body calms down for a moment that takes me out of this world My dearest you, It’s 3 in the morning, and I can’t close my eyes, In my last attempt; I found them opening to a pen in my hand It didn’t take me too long to realize my heart needs to speak to you The fibers inside me are shaking my head with words that are pleading to reach you Remember him? Yeah he’s still here, not much has changed since I last ran into you Except He took me to our favorite restaurant up in the city tonight You know, the one over the hill; absulote killer view by the way Whoops Sorry, I’m sure you also remember how my mind shifts into smaller details every time I tell a story I remember you enjoyed hearing my every little inessential Okay Back to dinner; My out-and-out favorite dessert was finally served; Vanilla soufflé with the vanilla ice cream on the side- I hope you’ve tried it, and I hope it got me on your mind for a second, because it definitely got you on mine I effortlessly took a scoop of the softest cake ever and my eyes catched his biggest smile and also softest tears I looked at him in awe and immediately knew, if I took my eyes off his and looked back to the spoon; I’d find it The most gorgeous diamond my eyes have ever witnessed, covered with the most delicious ice cream my tongue have ever tasted, if I may add Tears started to stream down my cheeks and my throat started to tighten up on me Both our hands shivering as he knelt on one knee Reaching out to my burning palms but too cold fingertips I was thrilled! I was so happy I mean, I finally got the cheesy proposal I have always dreamed of As soon as the question spilled out of his lips The three lettered word left mine Joyful moments danced around us with beautiful rhythms And god how perfect the world finally seemed then Now; Just a few hours later, Suddenly every cell inside of me feels like it has fallen out of place Suddenly the world is crashing down on me and my heart feels as empty as my life has ever been Why doesn’t it feel so perfect anymore? I stare at the man lying next to me and all I could think about is the man lying next to her Suddenly all I want is to wake up to your face every morning and to my fingers slightly moving through the shaggy hair that was once called mine Suddenly my body feels illusional I don’t feel right, I just feel deeply wrong Do I even exist? Because I don’t really feel whole anymore Something inside me is missing, a huge part of my life just got up and left my heart asking for shelter In a late hour where everything feels delusional, the only real thing is the pen I’m holding In a late hour where everything feels wrong, the only right thing is me writing you In a two year duration where everything feels misguided, the only right guidance takes me to you Dear you, I’m sorry it took me this much time to realize I miss you, I miss you so much

@datragic-poet (via datragic-poet)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

written-on-polaroids
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blossomfully
“You still love him,” he says, half question, half demand. “Of course I don’t.” She replies. But then part of her wonders whose arms she’d run into if she still had the choice. “You still think of him,” he whispers, when she’s turned off the lights and lies there trying not to give her thoughts away. “Go to sleep,” she says. But when her eyes are closed and she drifts between consciousness, she swears it’s his voice she hears and his fingers tracing the rise and fall of her ribs. “Do you miss him?” He asks. “No.” And it’s not a lie, not really. But part of her still remembers how he made her smile and how she buried her 2am laughter into his chest. Part of her still questions the possibility of seeing him again, and she thinks, maybe just once, for old time’s sake. “Would you go back?” He finally asks. And she can’t help herself. “Yes.” She says, “yes.”

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #73 (via blossomfully)

modernoxygen
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jwfeelings
She was the kind of girl who fell for the bad guys with the cigarettes clinging from their mouths. She liked how they bruised her lips with lavender and cherry kisses. Every touch was another scratch against her skin and another moment soon forgotten. She got addicted easily. And easily she was fooled. She fell for the dull eyes that looked like the fog on cloudy mornings. And she fell for the words of a broken record. Every moment was like tape being ripped off until the plastic would no longer stick. She was easily used and forgotten like the ashes falling from the men’s cigarettes.

one day she will forget them too by jwfeelings (via jwfeelings)

Source: jwfeelings
daddyissuesss
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blossomfully
1. He stops texting you back even though he used to text you first. 2. He’s busy with life and living and excuses. 3. When he kisses you it feels like he’s thinking too hard, as though he can’t wait to get away. When he stops, he turns and doesn’t look back. 4. When you ask him a question the replies are short, or not at all. When you’re silent he doesn’t make the effort to speak. 5. I love yous are met with awkwardness. I love yous are met with, ‘why?’ I love yous are met with, ‘you shouldn’t.’ 6. He sighs. A lot. 7. He looks angry on some days and sad on others. Either way you don’t know what to do. Hearing your voice used to calm him down, now it seems to have the opposite effect. 8. He dismisses your fears as ridiculous. You tell him that you’re worried but he just rolls his eyes. You think he’s being insensitive but it’s because he doesn’t want to lie. You’re looking for comfort where there’s none. 9. You make him unhappy so you give him space. The gap keeps getting larger and larger and you feel him slipping away. Do you hold on, or let go, regret it for the rest of your life? 10. He tells you that things change and he’s changed his mind. He tells you that it wasn’t your fault but somehow that doesn’t make things right. He tells you a lot of things but you stopped listening at ‘I don’t love you anymore.’ He tells you he doesn’t want to hurt you but all you feel is pain.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #236 // The ten ways that he’ll leave you (via blossomfully)

My heart was black.

"Sorry if your heart was white. I ruined it because my was black.” So i thought that, that was the reason. which it wasn’t. You’ve talked to her for 4 years straight. Every kiss, every romantic movie, every wanted touch and late night sex was shared with her. We only shared a few stolen kisses in the dark when no one could see us, or when your hands would end up where they shouldn’t. Even if it wasn’t real, we could play pretend anytime. #i #like #pizza #more #than #u #rn.

The Whore with the red cocktail dress.

will loving you ever get easier? will you ever stare into my eyes with your dark brown pupils and mouth ‘but i love her’ and ill look at you for a second and pretend i never heard what you said, and ill continue thinking you love me. while we both know you haven’t since she wore that red cocktail dress to my 18th birthday , we were planning our weekend away , but as she walked in through the door she’s been all you think about day and night, the way she made your lips quiver frightened me about what you could you be thinking in your head? will she be good in bed? and how easy was it for you to say you love me for 5 years straight? but forget it all when you seen she had condoms in her purse, ready for you to put on. 

how long did she make you cum? because it feels like it lasted a lifetime.

So now my “love” tell me how did it feel when it was your 18th birthday and a guy wearing a black suit walked in , and when you looked at the girl will the red cocktail dress you knew she was thinking what you were when you left me for her.

wnq-writers
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wnq-writers
The words that lie in my head Will not come out to play All these words you need to hear Are the words I cannot say No-one is the same as you And no-one can replace Every day you still entrance me With your beauty and your grace When we first met, I guess Was when I first felt the feeling Even to this day your Sight still sends me reeling I check my phone just every time I hear it make that little tune Just to see if you’ve decided To bring me from my daily gloom I meet you late after school Beneath the light of summer day Then you tell me those awful words Those words that you couldn’t say You’re moving somewhere far away We can be friends no more Your words, they pierce me like a knife My heart… it feels… so sore We were the best of friends And yet I wanted more Now I want to speak my piece But you’ve run out the door What is this painful feeling, That’s hanging over my heart? Have you now abandoned me? Have I fulfilled my part? I still await my message The one that comes from you But you can’t come back to me You’ve started again, anew Every time my phone goes off I check it just to see But you didn’t send that message You don’t care about me Even now that I’m old and grey I remember of that summer day When cruel fate came, you went away You left me in my dismay The sun dwells over summer sky And yet I’m still alone Then, a noise at the door And you’ve appeared once more Now that I breathe my last Accepting what may come to pass This is it, my last day Will you listen to what I have to say?

sgtshitlord (via wnq-writers)

K

Source: wnq-writers.com

i put him away in my memory box.

the place i thought it would be safe for him to stay. 

so my feelings and love wouldn’t get in the way.

The box was filled with broken promises and empty bottles of liquor.

i kept the wrist band you gave me , that winter night we met, the scars and dents in the wrist band sums up our relationship. 

You’ve left scars on me and I’ve left dents on your car, you deserve to pay 1000 dollars to get your wind shields fixed for that cheap dinner you took me out to on our anniversary.

But love, I’ve seen you around and you don’t look happy, but nor do i. 

your eyes don’t sparkle anymore and you’ve started to wear dark clothes which you’ve always hated because you liked to wear bright clothes to stand out. Our love stood out too , from everyone else’s. But it wasn’t long until our “love” broke us. 

#broken. 

your way back to me.

please come back, its all i want and pray for to get me through the day.

not knowing where we stand, not knowing if you love me, but would it hurt to lie a little? knowing you can bring the smile back the one you once fell in love with.

But maybe you’re done with lying and you don’t want to pretend anymore . 

When you left , you said its not as if you’re going to another girl, but look at you now. haven’t you left me for another girl?

A girl that doesn’t even know the first thing about love nor about you.

You said things are weird between us, but you only made things weirder by saying that.

i held back everything, everything i wanted to say to your lying, cheating eyes, but the sound of your voice made me forget it all. And oh the way you smoked that cigarette made me being mad at you even harder, i craved to be smoke that went into your lungs which didn’t stay there long because you blew it out too quick because you didn’t want to be sore inside , so you just hurt me.

I couldn’t handle it and thats what broke me and the other thing that broke me was knowing you will kiss her in places we have been and touch her in places which you will only call yours ,

but listen love, you told him that we look good together but secretly wanting it to end, and when it did , you did everything possible to get him to love you, you may of even taken of your clothes for him just to see his eyes admire every part of you, but love those eyes of his won’t admire you forever.

He’ll leave , and maybe he’ll find his way back to me.

#never #stopped #loving #you #her.

~broken.~

i am trying to fill my emptiness which strangers in my bed, maybe even the orgasm will take away the pain even if it lasts for a couple of minutes, its better than not at all , right?

ill wake up the next morning only smelling the liquor which filled the room and he’ll be a shot of regret, ill look at the back of his head and wonder if its you, maybe you came in with the keys i gave you for our anniversary because i wanted you with me, but then his sigh snaps me out of my thoughts and its not you.( but wishing doesn’t help).

Tell me was she worth the one night stand? was she worth the lipstick stains on your shirt which i tried to get rid of for days? thinking if i wouldn’t see it , it wouldn’t hurt as much. but god it did.

and the worst of all, seeing you in the same bar i went to , to forget about you, but you were just across the dance floor so how could i?

You were with that blonde tramp , and you were thinking that you’re gonna get lucky.but guess what dude? your luck has run out and so has your charm.

I never want to imagine how many girls you made cum on our bed which i stayed with you each night, until i was brave enough to start packing and finally leave you, i should have done it months ago, but i never did because i stuck around hoping you’ll fall in love with me.

#empty #not #worth #it. #bye #dick #head.

thewordsyouneverunderstood
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thewordsyouneverunderstood
I swore I’d never fuck with this shit ever again but tonight I’m lonely and everything hurts. And I’m sorry for breaking up the drugs on the only photograph of us that I have left- but this whole letting you go shit- feels much easier this way. Because I miss you and it happens often. It’s easier when I don’t have the right mind to think about it and that’s why I’m fucking heavy with this shit again- because I don’t have room to think about you in these moments. Because you’re the last thing on my mind when the blood in my veins is heavy with the drugs I bought on the street. And I’m trying to forget you and I’m sorry if I ever promised I never would but I need you to get out of my head. I need you to get out of my heart and if not , I’ll never learn how to love anything without taking too much of myself and that terrifies me. Because I want to know love without destruction. Because I want to know what it feels like.

- Cocaine and Love taste the same // thewordsyouneverunderstood (via thewordsyouneverunderstood)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️