there should be a YouTube plugin that replaces “skip ad” with “SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP”
Ling: Chicken noodle soup is just pasta with obstacles.
Ed: My life is just pasta with obstacles.
Ei löydy toista kolkkaa kamaralta, minne yhtä mieluisasti lähtisin.
Ei kummituskaan tunnu kamalalta, jos muumilaaksossa sen näkisin.
I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor’s backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.
As a florist I also find this hilarious too because you pretty much always need to remove four or five guard petals from a rose before incorporating it into an arrangement. If I actually handed someone a “virgin rose” they would inevitably complain about the quality because the outer petals of a rose are almost always bruised, torn, or sometimes even rotted. Not to mention the roses you can buy are the product of almost a thousand years of selective breeding and therefore not very natural themselves.
So like, be an untouched flower I guess but don’t show us all the natural blemishes that come with that?
What I’m hearing is that fucking four or five times before marriage improves your appearance and clears your skin
and probably makes you more skilled at fucking
i waited until marriage to fuck for the first time
it was very very bad
and it continued to be very very bad for a long time
almost as if we weren’t at all sexually compatible to begin with but there was no way of ever knowing until we tried
i’ve done a lot more fucking since that marriage ended and fucking is no longer very very bad
in fact it is generally very very good
fucking is great
i want to put these tiny moomin creatures in my pocket and keep them as pals
