99% sure my soulmate is a piece of bread

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!

oh what the hell…lol.

this is important

This anatomy test tomorrow lol

Wtf is sephora

It sounds scary

isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy

no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels

No you’re thinking of a Seraph

A sephora is a second year college or high school student

No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.

no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.

No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.

You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.

You’re thinking of Safari.  Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.

You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.

No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.

No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt. 

No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.

No, you’re thinking of Sappho.

Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.

No, you’re thinking of Zeppo.

Sephora is the Heimdall’s sister.

No no no guys, you’re thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora.

No, you’re thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.

No, you’re thinking of euphoria. Sephora’s a fucking makeup store you dipshits.

Only blogging because this is my favorite tumblr post and i can never find it when I need to.

Source 

“When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

“I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.””

Wow.

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

i’m babysitting this 4 year old kid today and as his dad was leaving he said “be good today” and the kid responded by saying “dad i will punch you in the leg” 

someone: “omg you’re so pretty!”

me:

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

i dont think ive ever shut up in my entire life

I spent at least 10 minutes watching this on repeat. I cried so much. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long time.

External image

ive had this queued this march

but have y’all seen the sequel

@marisk-a

IM SO HAPPY FOR HER

If this is not the most romantic birthday wish, idk what else

When they said it might sing, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

I think my dinner is possessed.

THAT IS NOT A “HUMMING NOISE” 

upwardsfreefall

Kids, your freshly cooked 

SOULS OF THE DAMNED 

are almost ready! Just let it sit for a few seconds after.

Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? I’d really appreciate it.

How can I say no to such a great photo and such a polite request?

i will always support this post

@mooserattler back on my dash!

Why isn’t this at a million notes, yet, Dante???

I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.

god come on we’re so close. this is like the only meaningful thing that this website could ever achieve