my friends hate this video so much i don’t even have to repost it in discord anymore i’ll just be in a voice call and go “wouldn’t it be crazy if the joker could beatbox” and they all tell me to go kill myself

Twitter users will not survive the winter

the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius

the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.

Or what you are going to be a genius about.

You have a big work project?

Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.

Kinda crazy how my first cellphone didn't have a camera or internet and 17 years later this thing knows more about me than I do and gives people brand new mental ilnesses.

my parents: "We bought you a cellphone so you can contact us if your bike gets a flat tire on your way to school!"

Cursed Artifact (common item) has been added to your inventory

baby me, observing other children eating fistfulls of randomly colored gummy bears all at once: when do i get to go back to my home planet

You have to eat them in order. Eat all the less-good ones first, like orange. Save all the good ones for last, like red and blue. Yes this applies to M&Ms too. What do you mean they all taste the same. That’s not the point.

No you cannot fix your entire life at 2am. Go to bed.

You can fix some of it though! By going to bed.

twitter limiting the amount of tweets you get to read per day is ridiculous but if tiktok limited the amount of videos people got to see per day it would be the biggest win for mental health since ssris

what if a nigga ran up on u in a full suit of armor wit a sword out talmbout “give it up”

Some dude I went to high school says he got robbed with a bow and arrow

Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

he is turning the tiles brown. he needs to be contained

SCP 

fools. this was a white goat, you can see the white markings on him. he’s been soaking up the brown and he’s only got one square left. let him finish his work

HE’S STEALING THE BROWN

you can't really place all the blame for bad female character design on artists because a lot of that comes from higher up the chain of command, which is something I learned the hard way when a client had me draw breasts and eyelashes on a wasp so that it was obvious she's a girl wasp

Op I'm so sorry but I had to immortalise the vision this post gave me

I can't post the actual art here but it's actually uncanny how close the second image is to what it looked like

werewolves are the best because they can be about womanhood or transness or morality or self-image or any type of Otherness. alienation. being afraid of yourself. society being afraid of you. finding your true self. becoming free.

I think about this post every time I wash my sheets

Full Tilt! Pinball (1995)

THERE WERE OTHER BOARDS?

also you can download the full game here, buds

Fun fact! Having a job every day is actually a fairly new thing.

In olden times, people had daily chores and other things to do but their workload/ daily working hours was actually much lower than it is today. Even in farming communities.

The concept of working super hard every day actually comes from capitalism, which in turn comes from Puritanical ideology.

The Puritans believed in salvation through work and in no play.

Early capitalists adopted this ideology because it meant higher productivity and therefore more money if their factories were running near constantly.

The idea of needing to be continuously productive in order to be useful/ allowed things like food and shelter, is actually quite an insidious ideal that is deeply rooted in the American culture.

4 day work weeks have actually proven to be more productive than the 5 day week. But corporations won't adopt it willingly because it means less of a stranglehold on their workers.

so on june 22nd, 2020, my friends and i were joking about winston stealing money and I made a joke about "overwatch coins"

and now.................. apparently overwatch coins are a thing in overwatch 2??????

I said that because "overwatch coins" is dumb as hell. what the fuck is happening. why did i manifest this

Can you manifest me a 12 foot tall furry dragoness GF who loves short kings next? It’s also important that she thinks gaming peaked in 2007, and loves the great outdoors as much as U do. Ideally her size renders her unable to fit inside the cabin of my pickup truck, and she may or may not exceed the payload capacity of the bed at 1500 pounds, I don’t mind.

u ok?

They could be if you’d manifest that dragoness

MØUSE マウス (2003)

what a wonderful young lady, i sure hope her breasts don’t swap positions with each other or something