it is not normal for grown men to find teenage girls sexually attractive. in fact, the older you get, the less attractive teenagers should become. i cannot believe people are arguing about this
humans are not “wired” to find younger people attractive. you are just poisoned by the normalization of pedophilia and capitalist ideals of beauty. your tastes are supposed to age with you.
prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.
Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,
No fucking WAY, there's actually a knee injury Guy? Catholicism accidentally reinventing the medical specialty system......
I know you're wondering: are there slutty pictures of him revealing his knees?
Saint Roch, by Francesco Ribalta, c. 1625, Museo de Bellas Artes, Valencia
[image id: st. Roch staring soulfully and hiking up his robe to show that his thigh has a bubo on it, also sluttily revealing his knees]
what the dog doin
btw last night I had a dream that I was being chased by a killer. as he finally caught me I saw he had a rainbow bracelet so I said “wait you’re gay?” and he replied “it’s diverse”. then he murdered me
Anonymous asked:
I have a special interest in fish and birds. Sometimes people ask me what I like more
Than I remember they’re the same thing and I don’t have to pit two bad bitches against each other, love taxonomy
EYYYYYYYYY
And honestly: fish are the underwater equivalent of birds!
Proof:
- Very common
- Easy to observe in their habitats
- Fill all sorts of ecological niches
- Come in different colors
- Have interesting life histories
It’s just as easy to watch fish underwater as it is to watch birds on land!
hey does anyone know the best size enclosure for my new medieval knight? i want him to have enough space to wander around and go on quests
Monkey Slug Caterpillars ( Phobetron pithecium)
Monkey Slug Caterpillars are sometimes mistaken for a hairy spider or for moldy leaf litter. This larvae has six hairy “arms” that curl out from each side of its body which act as suction cups. While they look creepy, the Mokey Slug Caterpillar is actually harmless and its hairs do not sting.
They end up transforming into the Hag Moth.
Step 1: get sword
Step 2:
Kill
the hotel I’m staying in is having a chihuahua conference??? some lady told me there were over 300 chihuahuas in the building and if I wanted to, I could go watch the puppy competition in the morning. I’m in Heaven
this is the best day of my life
I’m so tired of my stupid lawyers giving me stupid advice and billing me stupid legal fees. My criminal defense is so simple, a baby could do it. I don’t need these giant wastes of time money, I should just represent myself
I have been convicted six times
*touching his extremely defined six pack* who did this to you.....
*gently lifting a cup of water to his lips* it's going to be okay. *choking back tears* just a few more sips and then we'll get you a sandwich...
Reblog to give a glass of water to every dehydrated actor with shrink wrapped abs whose life was endangered for a shirtless scene
reblog to shrink wrap their director forever
Roommate went out of town once, asked me to look after her cat.
Night one she comes down meowing at me. I go check her food/water, they're full. Litter box empty. Make sure my roommate's door is still open and she's not locked out of her room or something. I try to pet her and she dodges me, offer her treats and she won't have it, try playing with her but she won't play, try just ignoring her and she won't stop following me around meowing at me.
So I call my roommate, concerned maybe she was sick or in pain and that's why she was being so insistent despite having all her needs met.
Roommate goes: "OH! She wants you to go to bed. Go upstairs to my room and just sit in my bed with her for a few minutes. She should curl up and get comfortable. Once shes laid down she usually lets me go back to what I'm doing she just can't seem to go to bed on her own"
Sure enough, I go sit on roommates bed and she just happily jumps up, curls up on the blanket, and purrs herself to sleep.
I like when cats try to give their humans healthy habits.
Don Pierrot of Navarre always sat up at night until I came home, waiting for me on the inside of the door, and as soon as I stepped into the antechamber he would come rubbing himself against my legs, arching his back and purring in gladsome, friendly fashion. Then he would start to walk in front of me, preceding me like a page, and I am sure that if I had asked him to do so, he would have carried my candle. In this way he would escort me to my bedroom, wait until I had undressed, jump up on the bed, put his paws round my neck, rub his nose against mine, lick me with his tiny red tongue, rough as a file, and utter little inarticulate cries by way of expressing unmistakably the pleasure he felt at seeing me again. When he had sufficiently caressed me and it was time to sleep he used to perch upon the backboard of his bed and slept there like a bird roosting on a branch. As soon as I woke in the morning, he would come and stretch out beside me until I rose. Midnight was the latest time allowed for my return home. On this point Pierrot was as inflexible as a janitor... Twice or thrice Pierrot sat up for me until two o’clock in the morning, but presently he took offence at my conduct and went to bed without waiting for me. I was touched by this mute protest against my innocently disorderly way of life, and thereafter I regularly returned home at midnight. Pierrot, however, proved hard to win back; he wanted to make sure that my repentance was no mere passing matter, but once he was convinced that I had really reformed, he deigned to restore me to his good graces and again took up his nightly post in the antechamber.
Cats : trying to make us go to bed at a Reasonable Time since forever (so they can wake us up at 3 am for treats)
My mom just said she thinks men are going crazy nowadays bc they have less gay sex now than they did in ancient times lool. She said she has a feeling it used to just be something guys did n moved on n now it’s a big deal for no reason. And I’m listening along like girl tumblr would love you
Can we talk about John Cena in the Barbie movie for a bit?
My favorite part about this is that they only put him in there because he asked to be in it.
John Cena asked if there was anything he could do in the Barbie movie and they came back with “how about a merman?” and John said hell yeah!
"everybody experiences that" says mother who has the same symptom of the same mental illness
hold up im reading more about the lionfish thing and this one island in Honduras has had such a huge problem with lionfish that the measures they have taken include
• getting special exemption from the Honduran government to allow divers access to harpoons and spears which are otherwise illegal in fishing
• public campaign to teach people how to prepare and eat lionfish (apparently they are very tasty once the poisonous spines are removed) (but watch out)
• holding lionfish combination hunting competition and cookout (reportedly they killed and cooked 1,700 in a day) (someone killed 60 of them with a rubber band spear gun???)
• most recently and apparently out of desperation, the divers in charge of culling the lionfish in the Roatan Marine Park just started. feeding the lionfish they killed to sharks. bc what else are you gonna do with it
• the sharks don’t seem to notice or be affected by the poison and begin hanging out with the divers
• the sharks then were seen hunting and killing the lionfish on their own
like this is nuts to me sorry. the sharks just had to be shown “hey this is food, did you know?? you can eat these!! here try one!!” we are possibly altering an entire foodchain bc we like feeding the big ocean wolves
I know it's because they're invasive but it's hilarious how many different ways human have come up with to send this one fish in particular to the plinko.
Can confirm, these fish are delicious
a bird just ran right past me with a worm in its beak and the resemblance to those anime girls running to school with a slice of bread in their mouths was uncanny
they are both late for class
