NPC: “I know this is strange to say, but to save this city, we need to make sure this demonic ritual succeeds.”
Cleric: “I do not like this sentence.”
Wizard: “It’s true, though.”
Cleric: “I understand that. I still do not like the sentence.”
So I am a rogue in a party with a ranger and a monk and I went down into a destroyed buildings basement by myself to investigate what happened. I found a safe but failed to open it so I wanted to climb out and call the party over to help open it.
DM: Roll athletics.
Rogue: *Rolls a 3*
DM: You managed to get out…but then the ground breaks and you fall back down and take 1 point of damage.
*everyone laughs*
Ranger: I’m going to the hole she fell in and I play a mocking song on my lute.
Monk: I join him.
Rogue: Just come down here already.
They both roll 16 and 13 on their performance and Ranger sings a little while the monk dances
DM: So you guys going in?
Ranger: Yeah.
DM: Ok both of you roll acrobatics.
Ranger: *Rolls a 2*
Monk: *Rolls a 3*
DM: You both, as you play your mocking song, fall and land next to her. Monk takes 1 point. Ranger, you landed on your lute and take 2 points of damage.
Rogue: Misery loves company, assholes.
“So apparently, if you set off fireball in the forest the druid that lives there will be angry.” -my 15 year old brother playing as a warlock after doing just that
Cue my other brother (16) to write in his notes: don’t set fire to forest the druid WILL kill you
Listen, something I'll never understand is why so many people don't like science or refuse to just read something about it.
I mean, sometimes I read stuff like that our cells closely check the quality of just-made proteins and when a lot of them origami themselves in the wrong way, the cell stops translation and activates a group of proteins that help others to fold themselves correctly and dude, that shit's amazing.
You don't even have to understand everything, but how come a lot of people don't even wonder how their bodies keep their body temperature? I don't get it, I really don't.
This meme is gold
No, its pyrite
Fool’s meme…
DIRECT ACTION
Vandalism doesnt change the system, it just slows it down and costs money. And no costing money won't change things either. It just goes on the national debt.
are you...talking to the cockatoo
bird spike national debt
oh to be a chunky orange farm cat
I HAVE A CHUNKY ORANGE FARM CAT
his name is bathtub
oh i love bathtub
“I’m really not comfortable with the wizard taking point.”
Tonight at Walmart I saw a little boy ask a little girl if he could hug her because he liked her sweater. The girl (these kids looked to be about 5, MAYBE 6) said no, so the boy said “okay. I like your sweater. Bye.” And then ran back to his parents.
He said to his Dad “I didn’t hug her because she said no, but I told her I liked her sweater!” And his dad said “Cool buddy!” And they went on with their shopping trip.
If a small child understands the ‘complex’ concept of consent, and the meaning of the word ‘no’, then so should everyone else.
Can’t call it Jackass unfortunately
We could call it ‘GUESS! THAT! FUCKBOI!’
girl scout: hi how are yo-
me: thin mints
I really didn’t know the bar had fallen this low
when you wanna talk but you have nothing to say
I saw a thing and thought it seemed like something you might find cool
-This is GENIUS-Systlin-
I’ve been laughing at this for a solid 5 mins
Maybe he’s ordering a decaf because he has a heart condition, and you’re about to give him a heart attack and send him to the hospital.
Or maybe he’s just ordering a decaf.
Maybe she’s ordering sugar free because she’s diabetic, and you’re about to put her six feet under.
Or maybe she’s just ordering sugar free,
Maybe they’re ordering non-dairy because they’re intolerant, and you’re about to ruin their day. Maybe they’re allergic, and you’re about to sponsor an all black event in an open field.
Or maybe they’re just ordering non-dairy.
Maybe they ordered gluten free because they can’t process it, and you’re about to destroy their digestive tract.
Or maybe they’re just ordering gluten free.
Maybe they’re ordering this way just because they don’t want the food, for whatever reason.
But are you willing to bet their life on it?
How do you tell neurotypicals that "a lot of noise" doesn't always mean loud
