people born in 24 Are 2000 now

This is the smartest dumb thing I've ever read, take my reblog and crawl back down your well

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.

tumblr is such an echo chamber i forgot about people like this

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

Before we continue, is this a personal moral failing or a mental illness? I need to know whether I should treat you like an evil monster or a helpless child when I unperson you.

When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?

got fired via a text from my boss who i’ve never digitally communicated with and because it was an unknown number sending a mysterious link with no context (turned out to be security camera footage of me taking 1 can of cheap beer) i assumed it was spam and my immediate response was

via zayydante

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

Did you intentionally make him Cajun before that screencap or was that baked into the prompt already. I ask only because the eyes as green as the bayou got me good

he's naturally australian so i gave him an upgrade

I think the dumbest hypothetical is those questions where it’s like “would you rather have $10,000 or eat dinner with X celebrity?” like of course I will take the money because eating dinner with a celebrity is literally a nightmare scenario. are you insane? Do you have a hole in your head?  I don’t care who I am dining with. I will literally shit myself on the spot if i have to eat dinner with someone who knows what a million in a bank account feels like. could be the coolest motherfucker in the world.  I would still find a way to fuck that up so fast.  like I could be eating dinner with serj from system of a down and I bet that guy is chill as fuck I’m sure it’ll be a very memorable experience. but I could still find a way to roll up to the restaurant wearing mice on my feet.  a banana peel, on my head.  and I’ll be like sorry man traffic is a nightmare today ha ha.  but that’s not the truth before this I tied both my shoelaces together and tripped on accident in a giant dumpster crusher machine like the one from toy story that crushes all the toys and they start getting suicidal, crawled my ass OUT, and then I fell in some gunk i check my phone : 4:30 . i go “fuck.” this is fucked. and I still gotta eat dinner with serj from system of a down at five !!so like I don’t have time to go home and wash up from my extremely embarrassing accident and all i have to wear is MICE no clothes since they got slipt in the crusher PURE. MICE. i’m sure he would be very chill and understanding of my situation and circumstances but that does not change the fact that I have mice around my feet as shoes . do you think I want to imagine serj seeing my my MOUSE shoes while we have to eat dinner and they are squeaking as I eat my steak ? and dude and then the waiter comes up and he goes you can’t be wearing mice. this is a five star establishment .and KICKS me the FUCK out dude ? would i rather imagine that nightmare scenario from hell (and the demons, and margaret thatcher she’s down there too ofc) or get money? not like buy a house and sustain yourself money but enough money to buy a nice fursuit or something . the ones with the removable tongues and eyelids and shit.? do the math four eyes don’t even waste my time





just a reminder to COMPLETELY boycott Eurovision this year; Azerbaijan and Israel, despite committing genocide, are STILL allowed to compete & have NOT been banned. by refusing to ban both countries, Eurovision is profiting off of the genocide of Palestinians and Armenians.

do not listen to the artists. do not pirate or stream the artists' music, and this applies to ALL the artists who are competing and performing this year. do not listen to the songs on ANY platform, do not give them ANY attention.

write to your broadcasters and tell them you REFUSE to watch the channels until they recognise the Armenian and Palestinian genocides & that you find it disgusting how they are allowing Eurovision despite Azerbaijan and Israel's entries.

do NOT give eurovision OR the competing artists ANYTHING but silence.

boycott ALL of eurovision.

god I fucking love strawberries

ooghhh ohgg stummy hurty too many strawberries

With God as my witness, if this gets 10k notes I will add Strawberry to my legal name

Strawberry as a name would suit you, methinks

LET'S GO OP

God fucking dammit

NICE