Victor Kieran

@victor-kieran

No joke is one-size-fits-all, but adding "but I remain optimistic" at the end of any somewhat-speculating statement makes it funny, taking a different tone in each.

Adding it to the end of something positive gives it an unexpected twist - implying that whatever the good thing that happened was, it wasn't what you expected or hoped to happen, but you're yet to give up hope of whatever the fuck you've now vaguely implied towards might still happen. "He survived and is expected to make a full recovery, but I remain optimistic."

Adding it to a neutral statement implies that you think something can be done about it, funniest if the statement is something that obviously can't be affected. "Apparently it's tuesday tomorrow, but I remain optimistic."

And the bleakest, most hopeless statements just become bleakly funny by the grim absurdity. "About 30 seconds remain until impact, and the chances of any of us surviving the crash are zero. But I remain optimistic."

I was looking at an old folder and I found a little collection of pharmacy fanart I made long time ago (they were posted in my old tumblr account).

So I decided to post them again. I draw different now (Some are several years old, as you can see in the signatures) but I still think that this art have some charm, haha.

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Ok I love this???

"baptise me in hot dog water"

Hot dog water - there's a Tumblr post out there I've seen saying hot dog water is the opposite of holy water, due to the fact that a single drop of it will contaminate what it touches. I assume this was partly inspired by this allusion but who knows for sure.

Also the the idea of holy water as inhuman and cleaning vs hot dog water as the remains of feeding someone - often a child - and entirely human. It may be dirty and I do not want it on me but God hot dog water has some memories. You will not wash away my sins. They're mine. Also, anyone can make hot dog water but holy water is refined, restricted (yes anyone can make it in an emergency but lay people are restricted from it)

"you and I both know"

Unlike baptism for babies, this one is done between two people who are both aware of what is happening. The one receiving the baptism gives the orders about what they want to happen. The giver and receiver are portrayed as equals. They are equally aware of their humanity.

"the holy stuff won't take"

Ooof heartbreaking, amazing line. Raises so many questions. What does it mean when the water "takes"? What has the receiver done that makes them unfit for holy water? Or, what has the holy water done that makes it to weak to help, to be a part of your life?

The poem as a whole - I love the lack of capitalization. It adds a sort of intimacy to the poem, and the statement from the speaker. The high words "baptise" and "holy" being offset by "take" and "hot dog". Also "hot dog water" vs "holy stuff." The cadence! I would lick it.

I love the serious analysis, and I think I find it persuasive.

This also sheds a lot of light on some plot points in Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated.

Worldcat is my bestie and my one true love!! Not only does it tell you what library a book is at, but it also price compares different used book sites against each other for easy view! It's how I got Tarot For the Master for $10!!

Oh, and since I have your attention: z-library (books and textbooks) and sci-hub (gatekept scientific journal articles.) I just ripped a textbook for class off z-library and snatched a required reading from sci-hub. Life is good and education should be accessible at every stage and station of life.

i think the worst thing to come out of this site are the ‘NAZIS ARE TERRIBLE. they WILL KILL ALL JEWS in COLD BLOOD, LET THEIR FAMILIES DIE IN FRONT OF THEM, and start the HOLOCAUST 2.0!! also reblog to make a jew feel safe.’ formatted type posts

ways to make a jew feel safe and comfortable:

-let them celebrate their holidays openly around you and encourage them to express themselves religiously. if they invite you over for a holiday, go!! they’re making an effort to let you learn more about them.

-consider any different diets they might be on (ex. kosher or even if it’s passover) when you have them over at your house. a little goes a long way with this one

-if christmas is around חנוכה that year, feel free to send them a חנוכה card!! it’s not really as big of a holiday for us but we do appreciate the effort put into making us feel included :)

-educate any of your friends that might make antisemitic jokes. even ‘grammar nazi’ jokes. standing up for jewish people goes further than when theyre just around. antisemitism isnt something that only exists when a jew is in the room.

-understand that, if they practice judaism, their beliefs arent like yours, and that that’s ok! a lot of people forget that not everyone is either a christian or an atheist whenever the topic of religion comes up. (but also remember not every jew practices or believes in judaism!!)

-if they tell you to warn them before you talk about nazis, do it. It’s really easy just to give someone a heads up before you talk about people who want them dead, especially if they’re openly jewish or a holocaust survivor descendent.

ways NOT to make a jew feel safe and comfortable:

“NAZIS are EVIL. they will KILL ALL THE JEWS. that’s just BAD. they will MURDER EVERY SINGLE JEWISH FAMILY. NO JEW IS SAFE. anyway reblog to make a jewish person feel safe and loved 🤗”

also if you can goyim reblog. and if you’re jewish and want to add on feel free!

hey by ‘if you are a goy reblog if you can’ i meant ‘i highly encourage you to reblog this because i have seen too many posts that make me and other jewish people very uncomfortable and they are, to be honest, entirely surface level and exhausting to see over and over again. not only that, but they are also annoying to us because they dont make us feel safe at all, and reblogging posts about how bad nazis are isnt actual activism or showing real, substantial support for jews. if youre serious about being there for your jewish siblings actually take part in their lives. make sure they’re comfortable. make sure you make casual antisemitists uncomfortable. dont just reblog posts about hating nazis, your posts dont do shit. supporting your jewish friends by even doing something as simple as what i listed above does have an affect of us. your posts about you hating nazis mean absolutely nothing unless you care for and acknowledge Actual Jewish People’s problems and challenges. otherwise, they’re surface level bullshit and do not contribute whatsoever to improve our safety.’ :) :) :)

are you a high school student about to take the apush exam? boy do i have some good news for you

for some reason when i took the apush test in 2018 i decided to make my study guide in the form of a shitpost. im talking bullet points. pop culture references. gen z lingo. its 102 pages long. i ended up getting a 5 on the test and this is literally all the studying i did. i am also now a history major.

but since i remember things better in shitpost form, it worked really well then memorizing dense text. and i know the test hasn't changed that much, so, i thought i would offer it to anyone who needs it.

it spans everything i learned in US 1 and US 2 and goes in chronological order. i haven't read through it in a hot minute but i think that everything in there should make sense. i essentially clown on the us for 100 pages in shitpost form.

so for all of you stressing about the exam on thursday, don't. read a shitpost instead. it will help you.

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ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN