your friends love you, your brain is just mean

PISSES ME OFF that glass is actually a liquid but it acts like a solid because the speed at which it flows is slow enough that the universe will collapse in on itself before all the glass in it finally settles into puddles. That is literally just the worst most useless liquid in the world. Complete and utter failure at being liquid. What a ridiculous stupid idiot. How do you fuck it up that hard. And you can cut yourself on it?? That’s the opposite of what you ever want a liquid for. Bad job. Just not good.

Heart of the cards.

Them: a weird CeleryDump isn’t real, it can’t hurt you… weird CeleryDump:

australian mutuals what are they saying

josh wants to steal it and use it to deal speed

josh is making wise business moves and i respect him

i hate twitter bc every time a new season of stranger things comes out everyone is on there like “winona ryder in the 90’s tho😍” like bitch.... winona ryder is hot now. im so tired of cowardice. accept milfs into your heart or perish

By the time my dad was my age he had like 6 empty coffee cans full of screws and I've only got like 2. Feel like I'm falling behind.

do you guys remember when nutella used to be like the girlblogger version of bacon

when put into a death game a minecraft mans natural instinct is to simulate gay marrige

What does the five fingers say to the face*is near the super cat Bell*

Really the epitome of “damn that’s wild, anyways”

its july 4th, that means its a special birthday!!

Happy birthday Apollo Animal Crossing!!!

I fucking hate the hand that feeds me. I think I'll do something fucked up to it

I hope you guys like…eventually live the life you want to live and I hope nothing haunts you for too long and I hope you’re all kind to yourselves

in case you wondered what the devil had to say today

'how would other people describe you' why would i know this

"if I asked your friends, what would they tell me about you?" they tell you whatever you need to hear to employ me, they are my friends

It’s insane how many organs will just Make Rocks if left up to their own devices. Kidneys. Gall bladder. Pancreas. Tonsils, what’s that about???