tamagotchi pancakes ive made ^_^

i no longer feel happiness or sadness

nothing and nobody disappoints me anymore. it’s a feeling far too familiar now

i am used to people leaving me, lying to me, using me

i am used to being treated as an object, as a toy

the pain in my chest won’t go away

it remains in place and festers

my heart hurts, it’s tired

my heart wants to stop beating

my eyes are tired

i am tired

I cant stop reciting this and then laughing so hard I cry

transcript:

I firmly believe all the best stories happen at WalMart self checkout, I was there at 3 in the morning one time buying Froot Loops, and there was a tall, tall country dad there and his little 5 year old daughter.

And when buying my Froot Loops, I dropped them. And I said "fuck. my loops." And I remember, like, in the back hearing, [gruffer, southern accented voice] "Yeah! Dont be afraid to speak!"

[normal voice] And I was like, "What?"

And he was like, [accented voice] "Youre angry, about your cereal. Say it. Say Fuck with your chest!"

[normal voice] And I was like, "...Fuck!" and his little daughter was like [less gruff accented voice] "Yeah my daddy lets me say Bitch!"

my zodiac? im a dumbass. moon in dramatic bitch

and rising in depressed mess

bro shutup im making up scenarios in my head that will never happen

no dreams,

no job,

no friends,

no girlfriend,

no love,

i have nothing

Dylan’s “Love me” from his journal (JC-001-026477), cleaned up a bit. 

whether or not I’m attractive now is another thing, but being socialized as ‘ugly’ and ‘undesirable’ in public school early on has really taken a toll on me

Rosanna Morris

i’m lonely. i feel broken… i don’t know what i’ve lost. i don’t know what i want i don’t know what i’m looking for. i just feel… incomplete.