you ask a scaredgirl her favorite drink and she says "what? huh? sorry im looking out for danger"

girl who is scared

wooden toys made by Taiwanese artist Yen Jui Lin

it’s because you’re always in those damn saw traps

i told her that my pipe was bomb, she said she wanna c-4 herself

reblog this for more explosive penis jokes

primadonna changed my brain chemistry like all i ever wanted was the world LITERALLY 💓 i know i’ve got a big ego i really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though 💓💓💓😵😵💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

my dad is the funniest person in the world to make small talk with. we passed a taco bell and he was like “what’s your favorite thing to get there” and i said “the crunchwrap supreme” and he said “tell me about it” and i described it to him and he said “that sounds delicious. what’s your second favorite thing at taco bell”

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Curious George origin story

BEHIND YOU

damn that truck is slow as fuck

it's going 15 mph but he's the state champion fastest beard grower

this is the funniest god damn thing ive ever seen

just found out that yesterday kim kardashian’s private jet produced 61 tons of CO2 emissions. over the last week drake’s private jet flights produced 182 tons of CO2 emissions. like what is even the point any more

the average person produces 7 tons of CO2 in a year. it would take the average person 9 years to produce as much CO2 as kim kardashian did in 1 day, or 26 years to produce as much CO2 as drake did in 1 week. is there actually any point in trying to go vegetarian? or cycling to work instead of driving? we will never be able to undo the damage of just private jet emissions at this rate

we could just kill them

Typo of the century

also been like… meticulously screenshotting convos with my boyfriend for two months because i felt like maybe i was exaggerating how often he did one specific thing but no

sdklfhjkskjfgh

im doing a timeline of my life for one of my psych classes except im stopping it at 9 years old and just putting “i drowned” and once i turn it in im never going back to class

why was skype so unhinged and fucked up. why were you allowed to quote other people's messages and EDIT THE QUOTE to make them say something totally different. why were you able to do the /me thing and do little roleplay actions every sentence if you wanted to. why could you have a call with like literally 30 people in it all talking at once over really fucking bad 2010s internet connections and creating the worst wall of sound you've ever heard in your life. why was there that fucking dancing cooked turkey emote. why.