- I have assumed the position of Archbishop of Nova Justiniana and All Cyprus on 8 November 2022, 1 day after the death of the former Archbishop on 7 November 2022. My Archbishop name is Karolos Yarakios. [Legally it's an impersonation but since the position is empty, I'm doing a better job than the old one.]
- For my archbishop blog, visit @karolosyarakios
- In my personal life, I'm Karl Joseph. Adult. He/it.
- History&International Relations.
- Psychotic.
- Physically disabled traumagenic system
- Fucked-up shit is tagged in the format of tw [insert content] or [insert content] (without the preceding "tw"). If you don't want to see some generational war trauma & massacre ramblings, you can block #My God My God or #It's the Children's Crusade or #tw war .
- This is a reminder that life is worth living. You can at least live to eat your fav ice cream again and again, no? You matter.
- Other blogs are down the cut.
İstanbul metro.
ID: Wall art on metro station interior depicting an Ottoman marketplace. There are people shopping people and a cat depicted. There are brown columns in the painting. The station interior has gray ground and a no smoking sign. End ID.
Welcome back again. I’m glad you’re better and on medication. Hopefully the meds are a good fit too (not being a fit can be an issue with antidepressants and such - it was a possibility for me)
Thank you so so so much! My meds are a good fit, they help regulate sleep and also help with chronic pain too! And i hope all goes well for you too!! And I love the gif, aww!!
Hello! Glad you're doing better and glad you're back!
Go raibh maith agat! Its so nice to see you too and thank you so much for your good wishes!!
Ohh! Hello! We're glad you're back
-Wolfgang
Omg soooo nice to find you upon coming back!!! Thank you!!! Hows it going yall?
sup bitches how ya doin frostmoon here
Hellllllllllllloooo
Hows it goin frosttt
it's been a while since you've been around, but sending well wishes again! very understandable to be away since if you're sick Tumblr's the least of your worries, but hope knowing people are out there thinking of you is nice :)
Thank you so so so much! Endless good wishes to you too!! Bless you, you are so much cared for!
Hi karl!! Haven't talked in a bit how are you?
Heyyyy!! Hows it going bestieee? I missed you! How are you?
Hope you're alright! I look forward to our talks about your fic and history analysis! 💚
Oh im back!!! Thank you so much! I have your fic still in my bag, carrying the print everywhere lol, soon (after my two papers due) ill be doing an analysis!!!
Hello! I haven't really interacted with you before but i noticed you've been gone for a while. I totally understand if you were just taking a break from social media and I'm sorry if I'm bothering you or if this is too intrusive, but since you were posting about some concerning heart issues you were having, i just wanted to know if you were doing ok?
Im alright!! Thank you endlessly. You are a great person and thank you so much for this. Im sending you all my good wishes!!
Hey folks im back!
It was hectic. My heart is healed, just the occasional pain but thats getting rarer.
I have had tons of assignments and papers and exams. Meanwhile i went to the doc, confirmed my heart is healed!
Thank you all for your good wishes my folks. I care about you all so much and i love you all /p
I had panic attacks almost nightly, thinking i was dying. I had bad cotard's delusion (thinking im dead). It went on for 2 months. Lately my psychosis also went worse and my Capgras delusion was horrible (thinking loved ones are replaced with something or someone). I had the chance to see a therapist and got antipsychotics prescribed. Im on meds and world is such a quiet place, such a calm place.
Things are looking bright!
I need some sleep but im so afraid of sleeping because i cant properly breathe. This feels like torture, getting tougher day by day. Im thinking that the report didnt have a typo at all, that its actually 4-5 cm worth of liquid in the heart sac instead of milimeters. Tomorrow i'll be on my way back to the home city and hopefully get myself taken to a hospital for the final verdict
Long story short,
A while ago I was in Cyprus and some people of my family had the flu there. I got it while I was eating together with them. I came back, had a week of bad fatigue and some fever and sickness. I healed but my heart acted up now and then, and lately it got worse.
I go to doc today, turns out it's pericarditis, I got fluid in my heart sac. When I try to move around, my heart hurts and I get breathless. Even when I'm doing nothing, my heart decides to act up. Its rhythm sometimes decides to fuck up and I am heavily fatigued.
All because of some fucking flu, man.
Update: Been a bit over 2 weeks since diagnosis, 1 month since the initial flu. The breathlessness and the bad pain is back. Perhaps not as horrible as its lowest point, but it is there. I'm still on meds but ugh.
I'm trying to rest as much as i can, delaying everything I got on my hands. I'll go see a doc again, fucking hell.
Saw a doc again. Ongoing fluid buildup, doesnt affect heart functions (thick heart walls save lives lol)
If there's a typo on the report, it means i'm getting better. If it is true, it's fucked.
If it is 4-5 cm buildup like the report says, it'd be going for a cardiac tamponade and they wouldn't be letting me walk out, probably. If it's a typo for 4-5 mm, it means i'm getting better.
I'll rest and take it allll easy.
Long story short,
A while ago I was in Cyprus and some people of my family had the flu there. I got it while I was eating together with them. I came back, had a week of bad fatigue and some fever and sickness. I healed but my heart acted up now and then, and lately it got worse.
I go to doc today, turns out it's pericarditis, I got fluid in my heart sac. When I try to move around, my heart hurts and I get breathless. Even when I'm doing nothing, my heart decides to act up. Its rhythm sometimes decides to fuck up and I am heavily fatigued.
All because of some fucking flu, man.
Update: Been a bit over 2 weeks since diagnosis, 1 month since the initial flu. The breathlessness and the bad pain is back. Perhaps not as horrible as its lowest point, but it is there. I'm still on meds but ugh.
I'm trying to rest as much as i can, delaying everything I got on my hands. I'll go see a doc again, fucking hell.
I will take weeks, around a month, mostly sleeping and resting. Sure i got lectures but it doesnt matter. Nothing matters compared to life. And i am so alive. So damn alive
And it's really all I can think about. Can't really process it just yet. I want to cry, nothing bad, just for catharsis. Amazement. But I am very sleepy and feeling anything too intense will hurt my heart. Not yet, I guess.
And the meds caught me just in time. Heart is such a small organ but it did its best and fought against it all. It feels like this will leave at least some kind of permanent weakness, a whispering pain in my left side whenever I feel any emotion too intensely or push myself a bit far.
But hey, I don't mind that. I am alive. I have been resting extensively. Sometimes my left arm drops and I lose my voice from fatigue. I let myself lie down, I let myself go to sleep. I put everything off. Nothing matters. The best thing in life is life itself, and that's enough for me.
It's barely been a week and the feeling of amazement remains.
Absolute Lithops Effect by The Mountain Goats // Evocation of Roussel by Odilon Redon
i was a bit creeped out when we saw it on the ultrasound, all the glowing white in the sac of my heart, and my parents just looking at it. i don't know, i just joked there. joked about my heart being "so light, haha", you know, glowing and all. took me two seconds to come up with it.
i limped through the corridors and held onto everything around me. i got my blood drawn and almost fainted in the middle of it, but sang random catchy songs in an attempt to stay conscious. joked about it very much too.
i assured everyone and joked about everything i could, saying i felt "perrrrrfectly fine, like a firework!". took long naps and couldn't even wake myself up, had to be poked out of the sleepy state to somewhat gulp down enough food for the day. i think that was the lowest point. you know that i also joked about that.
the last few days feel like a dream. i have nothing political to say about it, nothing to defend or to stand against. yes, i got the flu from the constantly coughing people who didn't wear a mask around me. yes, i postponed getting help because i didn't want people to think I was faking something. yes, i thought i myself was exaggerating it and almost didn't go to the hospital. hell, if i was back in the dorms, i think i would ignore it and God knows what would happen to me. they all point to big problems.
but, hey, i am alive at the moment. i look at the world and believe me, it's so pretty outside. it's so pretty outside the window. i find myself crying as i face the lights of the streetlamps. i cry because it is so goddamn beautiful. the tears burn my eyes and i can't even keep them open when it happens. the world is so still and vibrant at the same time. it's there for me.
i still can't believe all the things that could get worse. i still can't believe that it didn't get worse. i still can't believe that i'm here after the 2019 May of a rapid acute illness and ER. i still can't believe that i'm here after the 2021 November of being sure that i would die in a month. i still can't believe that i'm here after the entirety of 2022 of unstable symptoms of God-knows-what. i still can't believe that i'm here after the last few days.
sometimes it still feels like i can't register the fact that i'm alive, but hey, i am alive. i am a part of this world. it feels so odd, it feels so foreign, it feels so unreal. i am alive.
i will take a long walk when i feel well enough. few weeks to feel my heart strong enough. bit over a month to get back to its best capacity. oh, when that day comes, i will watch the sunrise from the roof and drink tea just like that, just like that.





