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always the babysitter

@vampirepunk

❤️‍🔥mandy. she/they. 22. lesb

“I’ve been trying to go home my whole life - ” - Chelsea Dingman, from ‘Psychogeography’, published in The Los Angeles Review

My father is in the kitchen cooking dinner. Pots are banging, and the peas are overflowing. I ask him for the fifth time when dinner will be ready. ‘When it is in front of you’ he says.

Now the kitchen is empty and I am alone at the dinner table. Grief is the only thing in front of me. I am not ready. I wish you had of asked me if I was ready.

I am alone at this table and I am not ready. Patience was not his virtue but grief is setting the table and I am not ready to say goodbye. I wish you had waited till I was ready.

And in a whisper, I hear my father say ‘but here it is, in front of you. Grief does not wait for dinner to be served before it takes a seat at the table.’

Hannah Green, ‘Knocking On Heavens Door.’

Claire C. Holland, from I Am Not Your Final Girl: Poems; “Ginger”

[Text ID: “I got cursed, in every way a / woman can. / You kill yourself, over and over, / to be different.”]