Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

talk show beauty: by josh wilks for sleek mag, makeup by ana takahashi

God could you imagine how mad geologists must have been to slowly watch the "hey all the continents kinda fit like puzzle pieces :)" guy get proven right

It was a woman that did it!

I love girl talk, especially when it’s complex geological theory

you may notice i use the phrase "my beloved" frequently. this is because i am in love with the world and everything in it. hope this clears things up <3

girl help the pessimists found me

"girl help i am staunchly refusing to realise my own naivete in a world almost completely made up of things that couldnt care less about me or are actively exploiting me"

Girl help the pessimists are mistaking an inherently meaningless universe for an inhumane and joyless one rather than recognizing the opportunity to make one’s own meaning and joy and to spread those things to others

“we must make sure you do not appear here again. bailiff, whack his peepee.”

*whack sound*

*Mel Blanc scream*

obsessed

there should be a sport called ant bucket where you pour buckets of ants on eachother

are yolu mad at me

I’m sonic the hedgehog

NEW TUMLER VIRUS

this shark is hungry. dangerous.

ｔｈｉｓ  ｓｈａｒｋ  ｗａｎｔｓ  ｔｏ  ｅａｔ  ｙｏｕｒ  ｂｌｏｇ．

if u dont reblog this cyber shark you’re blog will be delieted DONT RISK IT

youve angered it

can anyone translate whatever the hell my little brother has going on rn

this is such a good point. @walnutsupreme why aren’t you doing numbers yet

they will never attack my big and large towers

george w bush and sauron have both said this

“matchear no!” has to be one of the funniest punchlines of all time

sorry I forgor it’s matchear dont!

you’re god damn right there isn’t

This inaccurate. Should be obsidian.

When water hits flowing lava it turns to cobblestone. Its only obsidian when it touches a source block, which clearly lava pouring out of a soda machine would not be. NEVER fuck with real Minecraft fans you fake gamer

7-11 CLERK: lovely day outside, isn't it ME: uhhh ME INTERNALLY: shit. I didn't notice. How do I continue this conversation MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Service workers love it when you tell them the things mortal men were not meant to know, when you speak to them of principalities and powers upon the earth ME: In the sun a wheel, in the wheel another wheel. Do you see? 7-11 CLERK: Yes, I see! ME: For each turn of the outer wheel, one thousandth a turn of the inner wheel. And within the inner wheel a point of perfect darkness 7-11 CLERK: Right, growing, devouring. The death of all light ME: Wanes the light - right - wanes the light and waxes the solar eye. Wanes the day of flesh and blood and waxes the night of crawling beasts. Chewing and swallowing. The name of the night to come is khoshek ha-gibbor 7-11 CLERK: Is that hot dog a quarter pound big bite or a spicy bite. They're priced different ME: Which one is cheaper

love him

Alexander Hamilchin. (via reddit)

here comes the smoulder

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

THEM