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@valentinemage

Call me Valentine <3 • any pronouns • aroace, autistic, maybe adhd • bri ish • storage space for the blorbos from my brain

We have GOT to stop being assholes to people with receding and balding hairlines. There's not a single person that it can't affect. It affects trans men, particularly on hormones, it affects trans women, particularly those not on hormones, it affects people with endocrine issues, something that's becoming more prevalent and common, and it can affect people without a particular cause, including cis women. It's a normal part of being human and we NEED to stop dehumanizing and humiliating ppl for it

My bf started losing his hair in his early 20s and the effect it's had on him is devastating.

He's an actor and he was dropped by his agent after he stopped hiding his hair loss. The roles he was cast in narrowed and shifted from more heroic characters to villains, and eventually he became so miserable about it that he stopped going to auditions altogether.

He used to enjoy dyeing his hair bright colours, and he lost that means of self expression. It alienated him from his own appearance, which knocked him back in coming out and exploring his queerness. The way he talks about it often feels dysmorphic. He says shaving makes him feel like he's "rotting" - like he's "scraping the mold off [his] head".

I've seen drunk people and teenagers yell at him in the street and mock his baldness. I've seen people come up to him and slap his head or touch it without asking for permission. I've witnessed this behaviour from other trans people and women who I know would absolutely kick off if he took such a degrading or entitled attitude towards a part of their body, but seem to think it's OK to do it to him.

Since going bald people perceive him as more masculine. He feels people are more suspicious of him. Women are less likely to approach him. Folks are quicker to put him in a box or misread his behaviour as aggressive or threatening, when the reality is that he's neurodivergent and can't conform to rigid social norms.

Baldness is a heavily gendered characteristic. If someone is conventionally masculine enough and/or is protected by other intersecting powers and privileges (eg wealth) then baldness can reinforce their maleness and the harm to their social standing is minimised. But if their performance of maleness is complicated by something like queerness or disability, it creates a dissonance. They have what is perceived as a hypermasculine trait standing in sharp contrast with their refusal/failure to perform normative, idealised masculinity.

And that's how baldness is typically read - as failure. Especially when it exists outside of wealthy, successful, heterosexual masculinity but tbh even there too - just look at all the jokes about Jeff Bezos' baldness or Elon Musk getting hair plugs. It's similar to insulting Trump over his weight. Like yeah fuck those guys but all you're really doing is revealing to the fat and bald people in your life that you think their bodies are deserving of mockery.

And God help you if you're a bald woman. All women with receding hairlines are at a huge risk from transmisogyny.

Sorry for the essay. Baldness is absolutely a body neutrality issue. It's an ageism issue, and a trans issue, and I WISH there was a broader recognition of this.

What the fuck is this??????????

Folks: you CANNOT censor trigger tags. When you block a tag, it doesn't block other "spellings" of it. Writing it as "r@pe" or "r4p3" means that someone who has "tw rape" as a blocked tag will still see that post because you didn't wanna say the word rape. You are hurting people. Do not censor words, because people do not have those filtered out.

And honestly if you can't even write the word rape to protect other people then you probably aren't old/mature enough to be on this website.

Im sorry but the mental image of someone's packer falling out of their pant leg is so funny to me. Hey king uh you dropped your dick

Imagine me dropping my dick and the having to look for it on all 4s like Velma searching for her glasses at the club

Joke's on you all my posts are flops. You'll never get me

Uh oh.

your brain is filled with eyes op

your posts are flops huh?? you know what else flops?? a dick to the ground

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I want to add to non schizospectrum people that this really is a thing that sucks and makes life worse for us. Multiple times on Tiktok and Insta I've seen people talk about schizophrenia only for the comments to be that they "don't get the joke." Or people try to play as us as if we are literal characters, fictions. They like to trigger people with phrases like "I'm in your walls" because of some misguided belief we are all playing pretend together.

Some people in the notes have lamented how saying "I'm schizophrenic and this is hurtful" just brings more mocking. So it would really help change culture for the better a bit if those who support us would speak up too.

Also schizo is not a slur for all mentally ill people or anyone without schizospectrum disorders. You do not have the right to reclaim being compared to us, being lowered to our level. Please help us because we exist, though we may exist somewhat separately to you.

I need UK journalists to not show 43 degrees is not beach weather like people are gonna die

Americans do not interact

Im Australian, and 43C is NOT beach weather. That is VERY hot, even for us, but for the UK its apocalyptic. At 43C you should not even be going outside if you can help it, treating it like beach weather is a one way ticket to heatstroke.

I agree with not going outside for long periods of time but you will have to plan something to reduce the heat within your households. Especially if your house is designed to retain heat

Fans pointed at open windows will pull out hot air and allow it to circulate - don't put them IN the window, leave some room by the side for extra air to get drawn in.

If you can't afford cold packs (and if you can, stock up on some NOW), get some ziplock bags and freeze them, with wet washcloths or ripped up towel inside. You want them to be ready in the freezer when you need them. Wrap them in a tea towel and put them on your wrists and ankles.

A big bowl of ice water in front of a fan will blow cold air into the room and make a massive difference. Again, if you don't have ice cube trays get some and freeze them *now*, don't wait until you're already in trouble (although I am melting at quarter past nine but my thermoregulation is bollocks so I don't know if that's the heat or just the me). If you can't afford to get any, clean out empty yoghurt pots or Tupperware or whatever you have that can hold water. Even if you end up with a giant ice cube from a lunchbox, it'll help.

Even just opening two windows at a crack will allow some air circulation - I sometimes prop open my bedroom door and leave the bathroom door open, both windows are locked at a crack because of the cats but it creates a nice little line of wind along the landing.

If you're someone who needs something on them to sleep, take your duvet out of the cover and just use the cover.

Remember that water acts as a lens - you do NOT want to wear a wet t shirt in the burning sun. I did this when I was 8 and if I tan on my back you can still see the scars.

Read the instructions for sunscreen carefully, and use the highest spf you can find. Reapply as per the instructions. If you get burned, Malibu do an amazing aloe-based spray on after sun, I got mine from Savers for 3 quid and it lasts ages. I keep it and any other after sun in the fridge, which means it's incredibly lovely to put on. Aloe is magic for burns so definitely gravitate towards that if you can. My son got badly burned (he's ginger, he went to an outdoor pool and they forgot to give him sunscreen) and he's had 2 helpings of it and you wouldn't believe how much better he is (he couldn't even really wear a shirt).

Make sure your pets have plenty of fresh cold water to drink, and if they usually have dry food consider giving them some wet food for one of their meals (cats are notoriously not always great drinkers but wet food will get them some liquid). Keep the curtains and/or blinds closed in south-facing rooms. I have blackout curtains in the front room and the front bedroom (my son's) and they make a MASSIVE difference to the heat. Make sure pets have access to these cooler spaces if you can create them.

Keep oven/hob use to a minimum if you can. I like making a massive pot of something that can be reheated in the microwave if necessary - the oven especially adds a lot of heat. Or get some wraps and ham and cheese and eat those.

Cordial or fruit juice can be better than water if you're sweating a lot. Cordial is cheap as chips. Salty snacks are also good.

Go to Iceland and buy a billion lolly ices. It's especially a good way to make sure kids stay hydrated.

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I realize op asked for Americans not to interact, and whether or not they're being cheeky, I feel obligated to reblog this to save lives.

That temperature is absolutely murder, even moreso with humidity.

Please, be safe and stay hydrated!

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For reference, 43 degrees celsius is roughly equivalent to 109.4 degrees fahrenheit. That’s bad.

This is nearly DOUBLE the typical average temperature of the UK. I don't care if you grew up in Satan's asshole, if you woke up one day and it was twice as hot as it usually is, you're gonna have a bad fucking time. The infrastructure is not built for 40+ degrees, and with the government doing... The thing it's doing, I doubt they're gonna even bother to help people, so people need to see things like this post to be able to help each other instead.

Heads up UK folks, we're looking at hitting 40°C again in about two weeks. Now's a great time to prepare however you can, figure out what you can do to make things more bearable

Putting a wet tea towel in the freezer for 20 minutes (in a freezer bag so it didn't stick to anything) then tying it to my wrists/ankles helped a lot last year, so I'll share this post in the run up in case it helps anyone else

Keep an eye out for people struggling, including yourself

If you've got a cold pack of some kind, the fastest way to cool down is to put those wherever arteries run close to the skin. Wrists and ankles are good, so is the back of your neck, the small of your back (along the spine), and the backs of your knees.

If you are opening windows, open one on the shaded side and one on the sunny side, if you have that option; it will give a cross breeze. If you can open one on the shaded side and one on the side not in direct sun, even better.

I live in San Antonio. 43° is fucking MURDER. 43° is when they open government building so people don't fucking die.

Stay safe. Drink water. Good luck.

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BTW a reminder for my friends hopping on tumblr:

likes don't spread posts like on twitter. only reblogs do!

on here, liking a post effectively tells the op (and the person who put the post on your dash if reblogged) "hey! i enjoyed this post!" and that's it. they can also function as a bookmark tool if you want. reblogs, however, put the post on your blog, effectively getting more eyes on it! it's how posts spread on here. and you can reblog a post as many times as you want :)

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perfect example of my last point thank you

today reddit bumped off third party apps, Elon decided you can only read 600 twitter posts a day(!?), and YouTube is banning adblockers

tumblr, held together by hope and spit, presumed dead by many, really is one of the last decent media sites left standing