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Words can wound and wounds can heal

@vaguely-concerned / vaguely-concerned.tumblr.com

All of these things are true
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one of the funniest things about garashir are all those times when julian bashir -- not unequivocally the most autistic person in the quadrant only because odo and worf are also here -- steps in to function as garak's emotional support social skills. 'garak this isn't helping/garak this isn't the time/garak baby if I can read the social writing on this wall it's time to get out let's go go go'

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something i've been thinking about is pyrrha's herald bullet.

pyrrha has one herald bullet, stolen from wake. and there is a moment where she points it at ianthe and tells her that it isn't meant for her. a real jack sparrow moment. move aside, neither of us wants this particular bullet to end up in you.

and then she uses it anyway. she uses it on ianthe to get past her into the tomb. and i can't stop thinking about that.

it was for john, right? pyrrha had one bullet and she can only have been saving it to, at a crucial moment, incapacitate john.

and pyrrha picked nona. like, yeah, you could argue that opening the tomb is more useful to killing john in the long run, but is it really? that "death of the emperor" stuff is mostly a lie. pyrrha knows that. pyrrha of all people knows it's not as simple as "open the tomb, the emperor dies."

and yet she wastes the bullet on ianthe, with no fanfare. fuck it, fuck john, fuck revenge, fuck any plans she might've had. she's gotta save nona. and if that pasty bitch is gonna stand between her and her nono's best shot at survival, then there's no question about it. no hesitation.

and isn't that what all this is about, in the end? pyrrha - jaded, angry, cynical pyrrha - forfeits personal revenge because nona needs help, and she can't waste time.

i'm having feelings about it.

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I realize that Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are never going to cross over for anything but coy little easter eggs at most for legal reasons, but nevertheless my perfect scenario for how it would go down is that Hazbin Hotel’s part of the storyline culminates in the Big Epic Battle To End All Battles between Heaven and Hell… during all of which the whole Helluva Boss cast are fucking around up in the human world for completely unrelated reasons, perfectly oblivious the whole time. and then they cheerfully step through the portal back to Hell afterwards like ‘yo what’s UP losers we brought souveni — whAT THE ACTUAL FUCK’, troy coming back with pizza to a burning room meme style but the burning room is the entire cosmic world order as we’ve known it

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bahrmp3

[id: 11 gifs from season 3, episode 6 “the abandoned” from the tv series “star trek: deep space nine”, the gifs show jadzia dax and benjamin sisko walking through the promenade.

1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th gif: jadzia and sisko are walking in tandem, sisko says, “i never thought i'd hear myself saying this, but i miss taking care of jake when he was a baby. i miss holding him, singing to him at night, feeding him." he gestures with his hands as he speaks, and smiles when recollecting the pasting.

5th gif: “listening to him cry, changing his diapers, worrying when he was sick.” jadzia counters, she is teasing sisko.

6th gif: "i haven't forgotten." sisko says as they come to a small pause, they turn towards a window that overlooks space. sisko puts his hand on jadzia's shoulder.

7th, 8th, 9th, 10th gif: sisko turns to face jadzia, he starts speaking once more, "but there are times when i would give almost anything for the days when i could make jake happy just by lifting him over my head." sisko gestures with his hands, and the camera cuts to show jadzia smiling at sisko.

11th gif: "good night." sisko bids jadzia and takes his leave. jadzia turns a bit to watch him walk away. /id end]

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"Good Lord, it all sounds so coarse. I imagine I might be hurting your feelings. God, I hope so. Right now, I find I hope so tremendously."

I feel like we don't talk about this line of augustine's enough. truly the words of a man about to become your exest-wife. bad news in the jod district: biggest enabler about to drive your cool car space station into a fucking river. after a ten thousand year long lifetime of laughing at his jokes and soothing his upsets for him even (especially) when he's in the wrong and telling him his eyes look cool actually fuck the haters (cough cough simp behaviour)... augustine finally, finally tells john 'no'. saint of patience mayhaps a bit too attached to living up to his own virtue there but hey! we got there, and with only billions dead!

(it also gets me because it speaks of a love that is still there, hopelessly and helplessly and idiotically, underneath all of it. even that desire to be able to hurt someone is a strange twisted longing for intimacy -- of being able to touch someone back, as much as they've touched and hurt you; it's the same thing that makes the most cutting (and most blatantly untrue lol) thing that harrow can tell gideon 'I don't even think about you most days', not 'I hate you'. augustine still wants that man he thought was there to be within john somewhere, even at this point, deep in the ashen ennui that's all that's left of his soul. enough at least of that man that augustine has any power at all to hurt him. the disappointment feels so... deeply interpersonal above anything else, which I think is what I'm trying to get at with how much it feels like he's handing john already signed and filled in divorce papers. and it takes seeing mercy be treated like she's nothing for him to really give it all up.)

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Anonymous asked:

I think we occasionally forget that TF can very much BITE. He plays it cool, looks chill etc and Graves is more GRRR than him, but TF can hurt you with the right motivation. Do you think that ever occurs to Graves? Or is he more like "he's the brain I'm the brawl teehee" and one day it just hits that TF can eff someone up too

Oh I think Graves absolutely knows that T.F. can take care of himself that way when pressed — they have known each other so long and under such circumstances that I’m pretty sure he must have seen T.F. kill someone personally at least once haha. Graves does probably still think of himself as the powerhouse/fighter between them, both because of ego reasons and because I don’t think T.F. is particularly violently inclined unless he’s forced into a corner and removed from all other options. He would rather flight than fight almost every time, but he will fight when necessary. If Graves is a siege cannon, T.F. is more of a surprise stiletto shoved up between the ribs during a handshake lol. Very different in expression, but ultimately the same long-term results (dead motherfuckers when dead motherfuckers are necessary).

What I think WOULD take Graves by surprise is T.F.’s capacity for unrestrained calculated cold-eyed violence specifically for the cause of Graves’ protection. I feel like when it’s just himself on the line, T.F. would prefer to run until he’s out of ground, but if someone forces him at this point to contemplate living without Graves again… he would immediately Choose Violence, and How. 

Here’s a little snippet of something I never managed to make into a whole thing, but the context is basically that some guys have Graves at knifepoint and T.F. goes quietly and intensely Ballistic about it

T.F. stands very still, because he doesn’t need to move to capture all attention in the room. The cold, fierce fury in his eyes is the only statement of intent needed. 

“Get your hands off him,” he says, surprisingly quietly, like he already knew everyone would hang on every word from his mouth without him raising his voice. “Or I will kill every single one of your people and then you, and for you I’ll make it slow.”  

It occurs to me, suddenly, that in all our years running together I ain’t ever seen Tobias truly angry before. Nothin’ like this. It’s not his way; he seems set in some way to not let the world know where it’s touched him — sure, he’s barked back a couple of times when people get too close to something tender, but this is something else altogether. There’s no clever trickery here and no finesse, really. For once he’s just telling the truth.

. . . 

“Are you okay?” T.F. asks, fitting his hand to my cheek and tilting my face up so he can peer at me anxiously, the other hand patting restlessly over my chest as if checking me for new holes. 

“Hell, I’m fine, Tobias,” I say faintly. “I was more wonderin’ how you were doin’ there.” 

T.F.’s distracted, still looking me over with that intensity that borders on desperation. “Huh?”